Well, I'm Pregnant!

Yeah, I'm in disbelief, too. 

After a negative test at the doctor's office, I decided to wait until the 17-days-past-ovulation mark to try a home test.

If you've been following along, you know that I didn't go to the doctor for a pregnancy test; I went for a yearly check-up. Since the doctor was already testing my blood for other things, she offered to do a pregnancy test. I tried to explain that my cycle is really long and that she should trust me about when I say I ovulated instead of looking at the last date of my menstrual cycle, but she said we should test anyway.

My cycle is wonky and varies depending on the amount of stress in my life. It's also been crazy since my miscarriage in July. So I felt like waiting 17 days past ovulation would be a good goal. I had to use my mantra quite a few times to keep myself from dwelling on the unknowns. I also employed Kelly's advice about not making any sort of plans about when the baby would be due (if I were pregnant). 

Instead, I worked on "cultivating myself beyond the conception process" (a topic we cover in Purposeful Conception) and focused on a big event for the school I'm working to create.

I decided on the 17-day mark because that's when I tested for Henry. I made it all the way to the 16-day mark and then couldn't resist anymore. I justified it by saying that my big event was on the 17th day and if I found out I were pregnant on that day, I wouldn't have time to write the new baby a letter like I did for Henry and the second baby.

The line immediately darkened, and a huge smile spread across my shocked face. 

I am ecstatic and counting my lucky stars. Matt is a lot more cautious now that we've had a miscarriage, but I'm trying to stay optimistic and focused on the positive. A miscarriage is always possible, as is some kind of pregnancy- or birth-related complication. I keep those possibilities in the back of my mind, but I choose not to focus on them. 

So our baby is due at the end of June! Henry already wants to name it Apple. Of course he doesn't really understand any of this, but he is quite obsessed with apples right now, so it's often the word that comes out of his mouth when you ask him a question.