Life Is Short: Mini-Retirements

We got back from Spring Break in San Diego last week, and I am already dreaming and scheming about more travel with my family. I feel like this time with them is so fleeting, and I love having adventures with them. 

My current theory is that the way we think about retirement is completely messed up. Why work your butt off until you're really old and then get your free time? When your body doesn't feel very good? And your children are grown? 

I would much rather work longer (my job brings immense meaning into my life) and punctuate my life with more trips--"mini retirements," if you will, while I'm younger and my children are still at home. 

So I found a free home exchange website. It was easy to create a profile. In fact, you earn points just for creating a profile (points you can use to stay at someone's house for free!). And then you earn even more points if you create a profile for your home. I earned about four free nights just for completing those two steps. There are homes available all over the country and world! 

I'll let you know as a more coherent plan forms in my mind...

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Facing the Food Insensitivities

A post shared by Matthew Bradford (@mattyrunrun) on Mar 6, 2017 at 3:17pm PST

I'm finally getting to a place where I think I can tackle all the food sensitivities around here. Between my three guys, we are trying to minimize gluten, dairy, eggs, soy, and citrus. 

I tried brainstorming different categories of food, with the idea that the categories would help me search for recipes. Here are the categories I came up with:

1. Rice and beans
2. Curry
3. Tostadas
4. Tacos
5. Enchiladas
6. Veggie burgers
7. Pasta
8. Chili
9. Sushi
10. Fried rice

So for this week, here are the five recipes we are going to try: 

• Rice & Beans: Braised Coconut Spinach and Chickpeas with Lemon
• Tostadas: Black bean with quick pickles and soft-cooked eggs
• Pasta: Creamy Avocado pasta
• Veggie Burgers: Quinoa and White Bean
• Curry: Golden Red Lentil Dal

Fortunately I'm feeling excited and optimistic about the challenge! I've been wanting to minimize gluten and dairy in my own life anyway. 

It definitely takes a lot of time to find recipes, but my hope is that we will build up a good reserve over time and it will get easier.

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Rage Against Uncomfortable Shoes

A post shared by Sara Cotner (@saracotner) on Mar 4, 2017 at 8:20pm PST

I find myself in a bit of a conundrum on a daily basis. I would be better at my job if I dressed more professionally. As an Executive Director of a non-profit organization, I have to raise a lot of money (millions), and I have to convince people that we can turn an ambitious vision into a reality. And whether I like it or not, my appearance is connected to my capacity to do that. I'm the girl who doesn't like to waste time or money with makeup. I only like comfortable shoes. And I don't like shopping. I don't want to waste time doing my hair every day. It's not a pretty combination. 

So when I find something that looks half-way professional and is comfortable, I'm ecstatic! Like these shoes I just got from Rothy's. They are made from recycled plastic and they are machine-washable. They are really comfortable (lots of padding for flats). So far, so good!

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Reflection & Rejuvenation: March

Two months down. Ten to go. It's strange to keep a pulse on the year and feel how quickly it passes. 

March! I'm excited for you. I have a 1.5-week break during March. More time with the boys. 

By the end of the year, I want to be able to say that I feel balanced, connected, full of vitality, and at peace. I want to keep my bucket full, so that I can interact with others from a place of patience, love, and joy. I'm still at about an 8 toward this goal right now! Not too shabby.

Here are the things I'm trying to do toward the above goal this year:

1. Run at least twice a week and do yoga at least once a week. Running = 80% of my goal this month. Not too shabby. Yoga = 0%. I'm having a hard time fitting this one in because of #4 (see below). I can't finish my work before I need to go to yoga, which would then necessitate working late into the evening, which I haven't wanted to do. 
2. Eat in a balanced and healthy way. Yes! This month wasn't as good as last month, but I did start eating salads for lunch, which is really exciting to me.  I need to recommit to not eating snacks at school. 
3. Continue my daily meditation and gratitude practice. I meditated 64% of the days in February (I use the Insight Timer app).
4. Stop working at 8pm to create two hours of free time for myself each evening. It's been more like 8:30pm this month, but I'm trying!
5. Attend therapy every other week and attend leadership coaching every other week. I took steps toward finding a therapist this month! 
6. Take a pottery class. Later in the year...
7. Host a Sunday Supper at least ten times this year. Yep! Hosted one in February and have already planned one for March.
8. Religiously use Mint.com to track our expenses. We have categorized all our expenses so far!
9. Restore our house each night. Better! 
10. Go on a retreat by myself. Later in the year...
11. Go on a trip with Matt. Later in the year...

Here's how I did on my February-specific goals:

• Getting our taxes done: Yes!
• Organize our office desk: Yes! I got these organizers from IKEA
• Organize the boys' bathroom (now that everything has a place in our house, I want to go back through one area per month to maintain it). Yes! 

Posting the goals on our giant kitchen whiteboard help keep them at the center of my mind. 

In March, I'll want to:

• Have an awesome Spring Break
• Schedule a dentist appointment
• Plan our summer (I'm traveling to Ohio for a four-week Montessori training)
• Organize the refrigerator side of the kitchen

And I wonder if we should knock out any of our Family Goals? Maybe go to the theater to see a production? 

I'm excited about what March has in store.

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Some Good News and Bad News

I finally made an appointment to hear the results from my food sensitivity testing. I'll admit: ignorance was bliss. I honestly didn't want to know. If I knew that something was causing an immune response in my body, then I would have to do something about it. 

The good news is that my test was pretty clear. Nothing was in the 4 or higher range. The things that got the highest were milk, whey, and brewers' yeast. 

On the other hand, Matt's results were terrible. He is sensitive to most of the staples of an American diet, including many different forms of gluten and dairy. 

I know lots of people are skeptical about the validity of this kind of testing, but we are four for four when it comes to results matching up to issues. Matt has lots of stomach sensitivity, so his diagnosis makes sense. Tate's sensitivities match up to his eczema issues, and Henry's gluten issue matches up to his self-regulation issues. It's been an interesting journey for us! 

I'm honestly not sure what the future holds for our how we are going to meet our dietary needs. For a while I tried eating meat through our Sunbasket meals, but I just couldn't stomach it. Then I started pulling together really fast meals for the boys (pre-prepared meat, frozen peas, and applesauce) while Matt and I went back to the vegetarian Sunbasket meals (our favorite). But now that doesn't work for Matt. 

We'll see what we do!

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My Life Work: Genetic Testing, Therapy, Etc.

At the end of the year, I want to be able to say that I feel balanced, connected, full of vitality, and at peace. I want to make sure my own bucket is full so I can interact with others from a place of patience, love, and joy. 

To work toward that end, I've started working with a leadership coach every other week. I'm also about to start working with a therapist on the alternate weeks. I'm going to do it via Skype so I don't feel like I have one more commitment outside of the home. 

Through my work so far, I'm learning how I have to be more intentional and vigilant about prioritization in my life. I'm also learning about how to use my strengths to grow in the areas I want to grow, instead of constantly focusing on the things that need to change. 

I'm also seeing the need to develop a self-compassion practice. 

I'm also getting genetic testing through 23andme. I'm going to submit the raw data via this website to get a fuller report. If I have an MTHFR mutation that means I would benefit from prescription folic acid, then I'm going to start taking that. There's a history of anxiety and depression in my family. While I don't feel like I have the symptoms of depression, I do wonder if my constant "striving" is connected to anxiety. 

And--as if this list weren't already long enough--I'm going to get the results of my food insensitivity testing this week. I really do believe that the body is a complex system and things like nutrition have a huge impact on our brain. 

As I write all of this, I'm aware of how crazy I sound. Honestly, I'm feeling balanced, full of vitality, and at peace right now! And it's because I'm doing this work. I feel good when I feel like I'm growing and evolving as a person. I know, though, that my striving needs to be tempered with self-compassion and appreciation. I'm excited to be on this journey called Life!

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Happy Birthday, Sweet Henry!

Oh, Henry. You add so much to our lives. We are so incredibly grateful for everything you bring to our family. 

You've grown so much as a kindergartener this year. You wake yourself up, get dressed, and make your breakfast. You help Tate all the time. 

You are constantly generating ideas: like the time you wanted to go to Terra Toys to buy stuff so you hatched a plan to raise money with a pecan stand. I came home and saw you standing at the corner with Dad and Tate, holding a sign that read "Pecans." You made $11 and bought yourself (and Tate) several toys. You are a generous person. 

You like to use screwdrivers to take things apart. You like to use string to put things together. You like to flip over chairs and stack up couch cushions to invent all sorts of things. You have never once in your life said, "I'm bored." 

You know how to read and write in cursive. You continue to be a phenomenal swimmer. You love the water! You love adventures--going to new places. This year we went to Flagstaff for Spring Break, the San Juan Islands for Summer Break, and Los Angeles for Fall Break. 

And you love having friends over. You continue to love eating meat, and you talk frequently about things like hunting, guns, and archery. You're getting better and better at aikido every week, and you started playing soccer during the after care program at school. 

You care deeply about other people. When we went shopping for birthday presents for twin girls, you knew which one would want a dog toy and which one would want a cat toy. Your gifts were their favorite. You knew exactly what they would like. When one of the little girls was sick, you wanted to make her a card and give her a dollar bill. I suggested that we make her something instead, and you said, "She really just wants money." You pay attention to others, and you read them well. 

You love to hear make-believe stories about pirates attacking a ship you're on and me coming to your rescue in a helicopter. We then travel to the island of our dreams and spend our days eating mangoes. We still cuddle together every night and almost every morning. We love to wrestle as a family. You and I are on the same team against Dad. You are a master at tickling. You can maneuver your body very quickly and get your small hands in all the right places. 

You bring so much joy, creativity, and curiosity into our family. Thank you for sharing your light with us and making our lives brighter. 

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