Book Recommendation: First Light

I've been reading more about climate change lately (which is definitely contributing to my anxiety about the state of the world). In my search for materials, I came across a great YA fiction book called First Light by Rebecca Stead. If you're looking for something quick and easy, I highly recommend it! (It's not nearly as depressing as reading about climate change...)

Share |

Montessori Books

Simone from The Montessori Notebook e-mailed me about a great new resource she just created. You can find a link to 100 Montessori books for children under four here. Thanks, Simone!

Share |

Books for Halloween

Halloween is nearly here! We brought out our Halloween books as soon as October hit. Here are the ones we have:

• The Berenstein Bears Trick or Treat
• Pinkalicious: Pink or Treat!
• From Seed to Pumpkin
• Little Boo
• How Many Seeds in a Pumpkin?
• Seed, Sprout, Pumpkin Pie!
• The Biggest Pumpkin Ever
• Pumpkin Jack
• Pumpkin Pumpkin
• Pumpkin Moonshine
• It's Halloween
• Shake Dem Halloween Bones
• Halloween Is...
• The Very Best Pumpkin

I love this tradition of having seasonal books! 

Share |

Fall Books

Fall is officially here. We don't have a whole lot of seasonal change in Austin, but I will say it was pretty awesome this year that the first day of Fall was noticeably cooler than it had been all summer. I guess we should call them Subtle Seasons here. 

We are gearing up for the Fall season! Our Halloween costumes are in progress. We sent out evites for our 4th Annual Halloween pizza and trick-or-treating party. Fall travel has been booked. 

And now it's time to pull out our Fall books! I love this tradition around our home. These are the books we pull out only during the Fall season:

• Apples and Pumpkins
• Why Do Leaves Change Color?
• Seed, Sprout, Pumpkin, Pie
• We're Going on a Leaf Hunt

We don't have these books, but they look wonderful, too!

• Fletcher and the Falling Leaves
• It's Fall!
• Animals in the Fall

Share |

Book Recommendations

I am in love with the OverDrive app. It connects me to my city’s library and lets me download e-books into my Kindle app (on my phone) for free. It’s amazing! It enables me to save money and read a lot more than I otherwise would.

Here are some of the books I’ve read recently, all of which I recommend:

Gone Girl: I seriously could not put this book down. I even snuck downstairs during a party to read it in the bathroom (just a couple minutes). It’s engrossing. Surprising. Intriguing. Yes, I am clearly an introvert.

Secrets of a Charmed Life: I love historical fiction. This book was set during World War II, but it’s really a story about finding your passion and staying connected to family.

We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves: This book was my least favorite of all, but I still really enjoyed it and recommend it. I didn’t read what it was about before starting it, and I recommend that you do the same! It makes for a hugely interesting surprise.

It’s been fun to reconnect with the reader in me again. I feel like this phase of Parenting Two Young Children While Also Balancing a Demanding Career (and Sometimes Trying to Fit in Exercise, and, Oh Yeah, Friends) has just been so consuming. 

Share |

My Third Book Is Now Available!

I'm giddy to announce that my third book is now available! It's called Explore Longhorn Cavern State Park: A Texas Hill Country Adventure. 

My first book, A Priceless Wedding: Crafting a Meaningful, Memorable, and Affordable Celebration, was published the traditional route. I found an agent (through a long-time blog friend) and then talked with several different publishing companies before landing on Voyageur Press. 

My second book, Kids in the Kitchen: Simple Recipes that Build Independence and Confidence the Montessori Way, was a collaboration with the amazing Kylie of How We Montessori. The graphic design was donated by my dear friend in Houston (who has her children in public Montessori). We produced the whole thing without any cost and published it using CreateSpace, so that all of the proceeds could go toward growing the public Montessori movement. 

My third book, Explore Longhorn Cavern State Park: A Texas Hill Country Adventure, is a collaboration with my husband, a budding photographer. We had been wanting to collaborate on a project for a while and we finally had the idea to publish a series of non-fiction children's books based on our travel adventures. The idea is that you can take your children around the world from the comfort of your lap.

The Explore non-fiction series invites children to tap into their innate curiosity and travel to new places. Explore Longhorn Cavern State Park: A Texas Hill Country Adventure focuses on the unique history of the underground caverns in Burnet, TX, which have been occupied by American Indians, confederate soldiers, a speakeasy, and the Civilian Conservation Corps over the span of hundreds of years. Ages 2-10

We published it on our own using CreateSpace again, with the support of an awesome graphic designer I met through this blog, Sebrina Parker. I highly recommend self-publishing but it definitely requires to support of a real graphic designer to help it look professional.

If you're interested, you can purchase the book here!

If you have any questions about self-publishing, please let me know!

Share |

Book Recommendation: Siblings Without Rivalry

When we traveled to Flagstaff for Spring Break, the bickering between our boys hit an all-time high. I was at my wits-end and needed an immediate next step (that’s how I deal with stress; I figure out what my next step is to move toward alleviating the stress). So I ordered Siblings Without Rivalry from Amazon and read it on the Kindle app on my phone. (As a side note, I’m still trying to use the free library app to get Kindle books from the library, called Overdrive, but I’m having trouble getting my library pin to work during log-in).

First and foremost, read the book if you only want to have one child and would like additional justification that you are making the right decision. Seriously, the whole first part of it explains what is at the heart of sibling rivalry: children fee like they are competing for love.

The authors even go so far to say that having a sibling is like having your partner come home and say, “Honey, I love you so much that I’m going to bring home another wife/husband just like you. S/he is going to live with us and share all of your things.”

After getting over the shock that maybe I should have stuck to my original plan of having only one child, I found the strategies to be helpful and concrete.

Here were some of my favorite ones:

Instead of dismissing negative feelings about a sibling, acknowledge the feelings.

Instead of:

Child: “You’re always with the baby.”

Parent: “No I’m not. Didn’t I just read to you?”

Put the feelings into words:

Parent: “You don’t like my spending so much time with her.”

Give children in fantasy what they don’t have in reality.

Child: “Send the baby back!”

Parent: “You don’t mean that. You know you love her.”

Express what the child might wish:

Parent: “You don’t want her here. Sometimes you wish she’d go away.”

Stop hurtful behavior, show how angry feelings can be discharged safely. Refrain from attacking the attacker.

Instead of:

Parent: “That’s a nasty thing to do to the baby! She only touched your blocks.”

Show better ways to express anger:

“No punching. Tell your sister how angry you are with words, not fists.”  

Those were the first group of strategies. I’m feeling like I should stop there so I can put them into practice in the coming week!

Share |

Book Recommendation: Little Bee

A Little Free Library popped up in our neighborhood, and Henry and I were very excited about stopping by. We finally did one day after school, and we each got a book. I grabbed Little Bee by Chris Cleave. 

Right before bed on Saturday night, I started reading the first chapter. 

And then I teared up. I cried because I couldn't remember the last time I held a fiction book in my hand to read it for fun. Seriously. 

I remember when Tate was born (almost two years ago now!) and I read lots and lots of fiction books in those early days of middle-of-the-night breastfeeding (on my phone, using the Kindle app). 

But I literally cannot remember the last time I held a real fiction book. 

I understand why this part of my life has been put on hold, but understanding the reasons doesn't make it any less sad. 

I started reading a lot of non-fiction books in preparation for pregnancy back in 2010. And then Henry was born in 2011 and any spare minute I had went into writing my own book. And then we moved to Austin and I started pursuing my dream and very quickly I was pregnant again and all I could do to keep my eyes open during my free time was to watch Gossip Girls. And then there was my miscarriage and my third pregnancy soon after that. And then Tate arrived and then school started. So, yeah, not a lot of time for reading fiction. 

But fiction transforms me. It illuminates the human condition and let's me work through moral and ethical dilemmas from the safety of my couch.  

And this book is no exception! 

I definitely want to get back into the habit of reading actual fiction books that you can hold in your hands. If I read on my phone, my children have no idea whether I'm on Facebook or actually reading a book. I want my kids to clearly see that I love reading and that I'm a voracious reader (and I want to make more time to actually be one!). 

I slowly feel like I am clawing my way out of the hole of early motherhood. I know it doesn't feel like a hole to everyone, but it has been an incredibly difficult time for Matt and me. Tate is almost two and I feel our life getting easier and easier. Phew!

----------------------------------------------------

Join us for the First Annual Reflection & Rejuvenation Retreat in Austin, TX, July 10th to 12th!

Share |

Self-Help Daily Digest

I love receiving daily updates from Brian Johnson. He reads self-help books and synthesizes them into brief summaries and videos. A lot of the concepts he covers are things that I grappled with in my twenties--things that now enable me to set ambitious goals and break them down into smaller next steps. 

One of the updates from last week is still something I'm thinking about:

------from Brian Johnson------

“The key to becoming world-class in your endeavors is to build your performance around world-class routines. It can be difficult, even futile, to predict or control what will show up in the middle of your workday. But you can almost always control how your day starts and ends. I have routines for both.”  ~ Darren Hardy from The Compound Effect This. Is. HUGE. (Seriously. Huge. (!!!)) We need to “bookend our days” with awesomeness. I’ve never seen anyone articulate this as well as Darren does in the book where he walks us through what he does in the morning and night. Super inspiring stuff. I call my bookends “AM Rituals” and “PM Rituals.” In reality, the PM Rituals drive the AM so we’ll start there. First, Alexandra and I practice what we call “digital sunset”—all electronics go off when the sun goes down, along with bright lights. We eat an early dinner, go on our family walk (we’ve missed maybe 5 nights in the last 2+ years) and get ready for bed right after putting the little man to bed. As I’ve mentioned, I like to make going to bed early a sport. Why? Because going to bed super early let’s me *easily* get up super early and get more done before the family gets up than I used to do in a pretty good day. That’s the PM Ritual side of things. Again, not checking out ESPN.com (or whatever) at night on my iPhone is one of *the* key reasons I get up feeling so great. AM Rituals: I get up early without an alarm. This AM was a little nutty early: 3:30 am. (But I went to bed at 7:00 pm so it wasn’t a big deal.) I meditated for 20 minutes. Did yoga for 5. And immediately started working on this Note—which I had decided end of day yesterday would be my #1 for today. It’s 5:45, I’ve been cranking on it since 4:23 and making great progress. (Sidenote: I found that it’s UNBELIEVABLY easier to write/think/etc. first thing in the (super early) morning when everything is quiet and I just meditated—I can crank out stuff in a fraction of the time vs. later in the day when my mind is full/distracted. Highly recommend it.)It’s *really* hard to have a bad day with those bookends. And, stated positively, it feels REALLY good to just crush it and get the most important things done first. We’ll have fun going off on this more. For now, how can you bookend your days to create even more awesomeness?! Get on that! Dig that Big Idea? You’ll probably enjoy Brian’s PhilosophersNotes. Imagine the best optimal living books (ever) distilled into fun, inspiring, practical little Notes (6-page PDFs + 20-minute MP3s = more wisdom in less time). Throw in Optimal Living classes that bring the Big Ideas to life and you have Brian’s Optimal Living program--all about helping you optimize your life so you can reach your potential. Learn more here.

Share |

Change the Way You See Everything

Yesterday's post reminded me of a book I bought many, many years ago. Although I've cleared out a lot of the books I'll never read again, I did save several of my self-help books that I never made it through. Change the Way You See Everything through Asset-Based Thinking is one of those books.

I think it's exactly what I need to focus on right now, both in my professional and my personal life. 

Just think what could be possible if people focused their attention on:

• Opportunities rather than problems

• Strengths more than weaknesses

• What can be done instead of what can't

When you decrease your focus on what is wrong (deficit-based thinking) and increase your focus on what is right (Asset-Based Thinking), you build enthusiasm and energy, strengthen relationships, and move people and productivity to the next level. 

Share |

Book Recommendation: I'm a Big Brother

We're four months in to this whole sibling thing, and so far it's going well. Henry absolutely adores Tate (and vice versa). We did a lot (and continue to do a lot) to make the transition as smooth as possible. I know it's going to get a whole lot rockier when Tate is mobile enough to take Henry's stuff and knock down his block towers, but for now we're soaking up the sweetness. 

One of the things that helped was the book I'm a Big Brother by Joanna Cole. Our neighbor gave it to us, and it's awesome (aside from the fact that it's heteronormative). It talks about all the things babies can't do (like play or eat pizza) and reiterates important things (like asking before holding the baby). It's a great read over and over in the months before birth. 

It would make a great gift for a little boy or girl who's expecting a new sibling!  

Share |

Book Recommendation: Bebe Day by Day

I loved reading Bringing Up Bebe (review can be found here), so I was delighted when I realized that the author published a follow-up to the book that is more of a succinct summary of the original book's main points, called Bebe Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting. 

I definitely recommend reading the first book before the second one. In isolation, the second book probably wouldn't have as much of an impact, since each principle is only explained in a paragraph or so. 

However, since it's been a while since I read the first book, the second book was a perfect refresher. Here are some of the principles that really resonate with the way Matt and I choose to parent:

• Don't Panic About Sushi [while Pregnant]: Although I don't eat raw fish because I'm a vegetarian, I appreciate the idea that we shouldn't go through pregnancy within a "culture of fear." I still eat soft cheeses and go in hot-tubs that aren't too hot and sometimes sleep on my back.
• The Fetus Doesn't Need Cheesecake & Eat for One (and a Bit): The recommendation is to eat about 300 extra calories a day when pregnant. I feel like in American culture, pregnancy is often seen as the time to indulge because it's the one time we are allowed to gain weight without being made to feel bad about it.
• Be Polite [to Baby]
• Don't Stimulate Her All the Time
• Nudge Him onto a Schedule
• Make Vegetables a Child's First Food: I agree that rice cereal is very bland and that we can more quickly introduce interesting foods to babies. That's why I love the Organic Baby & Toddler Cookbook. It's written by a European and it seems to introduce more flavorful and complex foods early on.
• Do "The Pause": This strategy is about waiting a little bit before responding to a baby's cries in the night (approximately five minutes--give or take, depending on the family). The delayed response time gives babies a chance to connect their own sleep cycles more often and fall back asleep. According to the book, French babies--on average--tend to sleep through the night more quickly than American babies. Although I don't think I would want to do this with an infant during the Symbiotic Period (which is the first 6-8 weeks of life, during which Montessori believed intense bonding occurs), I might consider this strategy when our next baby hits two months-old.
• Sleeping Well Is Better for the Baby
• If You Miss the Window for the Pause, Let Baby Cry It Out
• There Are No "Kid" Foods & Everyone Eats the Same Thing
• There's One Snack a Day: Although Henry eats two snacks a day, I agree with this idea that children will be more likely to eat healthy lunches and dinners if they aren't snacking all day long.
• Don't Solve a Crisis with a Cookie
• Let Kids Cook
• You Choose the Foods, She Chooses the Quantities
• Drink Water: Although we do let Henry drink juice at other people's houses, we typically only serve milk and water at our own house.
• Eat Chocolate & Let Them Eat Cake: Although we don't keep a lot of unhealthy food around, we do try to model for Henry how to eat sweets in moderation. We tend to eat really healthy food all week long and then treat ourselves on the weekend.
• Don't Teach Your Toddler How to Read: I agree with the idea that it's really not useful to make toddlers memorize a bunch of things in order to look smart. They need to spend most of their time working on fine- and gross-motor skills, self-care, language development through authentic conversation, nature exploration, etc.
• Don't Rush the Developmental Stages
• Teach the Four Magic Words: I agree with the emphasis on explicitly modeling, teaching, and expecting good manners.
• Encourage Insouciance 
• Back Off at the Playground
• It's Not Just about Outcomes
• Give Kids Lots of Chances to Practice Waiting
• Slow Down Your Response Times
• Treat Kids as if They Can Control Themselves
• Don't Let Your Child Interrupt You: We haven't started on this one yet because Henry is experiencing such a language explosion. However, I know that this will become increasingly important to us.
• Don't Interrupt Your Child
• Give Kids Meaningful Chores
• Build a Cadre: This idea of building a clear structure of boundaries and then giving children freedom within the boundaries really resonates with me.
• Don't Become a Referee
• Keep the Risks in Perspective
• Don't Raise a Praise Addict
• Encourage Kids to Speak Well
• Show Kids That You Have a Life Apart from Them
• Don't Become a "Taxi Mother"
• Your Baby Doesn't Replace Your [Partner]
• Your Bedroom is Your Castle
• Be Clear-Eyed About How Hard Kids Are on a Relationship
• Pretend to Agree
• Make Evenings Adult Time
• Say "No" with Conviction
• Say "Yes" as Often as You Can
• Explain the Reason Behind the Rule
• You're Not Disciplining, You're Educating

And here are some of the ideas I don't want to incorporate into my own family:

• Pregnancy Is Not an Independent Research Project: Although I agree with the overarching idea that we shouldn't go too crazy as we prepare for motherhood, I do think there's a lot to learn and think about in preparation for such an undertaking. I'm glad I spent a lot of time learning about how to optimize my health, figuring out what kind of birth made sense for me, learning about the Montessori approach to raising infants, etc.
• Epidurals Aren't Evil: Although I agree with the idea that natural childbirth shouldn't be viewed as a "heroic journey in pain tolerance or early proof of the trials a mother is willing to undergo for her child," I do think we have to be cautious when it comes to interventions. While many of the drugs that are used during medicated childbirths have been tested separately, there have been fewer tests on their combined effects. Yes, children are quite resilient, but the younger they are, the more fragile their systems are. We're seeing more and more children affected with neurological issues these days (autism, sensory processing disorder, ADHD, etc.). Although there isn't a lot of research on the topic, I still think it's better to be cautious when it comes to exposing ourselves and our babies to toxins.
• Baby Formula Isn't Poison: Again, I agree with the notion that mothers shouldn't become martyrs and that breastfeeding shouldn't be seen "as a measure of the mom," but I do appreciate the cultural shift that has happened in America toward embracing the benefits of breastfeeding. I personally believe that breastfeeding is far superior to formula in most cases and that we give our babies the most solid foundation when we breastfeed them. Of course this doesn't mean that anyone should feel guilty if they can't breastfeed or if they make the switch to formula for various reasons that make sense for their families; we have to do our best as parents and then forgive any gap that exists between where we are and where we wish we were.
• 50/50 Isn't the Gold Standard: Although I agree that everything doesn't have to be split exactly evenly and partners' contributions can look different, I do think the concept of 50/50 should absolutely permeate our relationships.
• Treat Men Like a Separate Species

 I never expect to agree with 100% of something I read. I still thoroughly enjoyed reading this book!

Share |

Supporting Pre-Readers

Henry's birthday gifts were a huge success! He loves his new books, and I particularly love Big Machines from the DK Readers series. According to Montessori philosophy, young children are in a developmental phase where they are trying to understand the world. For this reason, the books we read to them should be non-fiction (or realistic fiction) and should contain real photographs whenever possible. While we don't follow this philosophy 100% (I love Go Dog Go and Are You My Mother?), I do find that Henry is most attracted to books with real photographs. 

I'm going to use some of his birthday money (half of it is being put toward college savings) to buy more of the Level 1 DK Readers. As a reading teacher, I can see how adding these books to our collection now will greatly support and promote reading later down the line. Henry is in the stage where he likes books to be read to him over and over again. He's acquiring vocabulary (explicitly), as well as sentence structure (implicitly). Reading these same books over the years will create a really solid foundation for independent reading. 

These won't be the only books we buy for him. It's important to read books that are above his level, too, so that we expose him to more sophisticated vocabulary and sentence structure. But we'll definitely buy a handful of them. The text is the perfect amount for keeping him engaged, and he loves the photos. Building familiarity with them now will likely support his reading acquisition later on.

Share |

Book Giveaway!

I know most of you are past the wedding planning stage, but you might still have friends/family members/colleagues/neighbors going through it.

You're welcome to enter two separate contests to win a free copy of A Priceless Wedding: Crafting a Meaningful, Memorable, and Affordable Celebration (and definitely feel free to send your partner/friends/family/neighbors/colleagues over to increase your odds of winning)!

The first contest is over at Goodreads, and the second one is via Craftside.

Good luck to you and yours!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

A Priceless Wedding

by Sara Cotner

Giveaway ends February 07, 2013.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Share |

Book Tour Pondering

Friends, thank you so much for your outpouring of support in response to this request for help with my DIY, budget book tour. I know it's a lot to ask. I try to only ask things of people that I would be willing to do in return (for example, I tried to get Meg to do a book tour stop in Houston with the promise of a homemade wedding cake). 

I've had so much fun meeting kindred spirits over the years, such as Kelsey, Meghan, Kelly, Jennie, Sarah, Monja--and more! That's the real appeal of a book tour--meeting more of you. Book tours are increasingly outdated as a publicizing strategy in this digital age. 

I considered every single city that you offered up (even the tiny ones!). I flipped between the comments on that post and Kayak. I searched prices for January/February/March. Based on my preliminary search, it looks like the top contenders are Denver ($142!) and Portland ($255). If I do both of those stops, I would have to leave Matt and Henry behind, since we couldn't afford all those tickets. I'm thinking I would do:

• Denver
• Portland
• Houston
• Austin
• Maybe Baton Rouge or New Orleans

I just wanted to keep you updated. I need to talk more with my publicist before making any decisions. If you're interested, you can read today's post over at 2000 Dollar Wedding about holding the book in my hands for the first time. Craziness!

-------------------
REMINDER: The next Purposeful Conception Course: Preparing Your Mind, Body, and Life for Pregnancy starts Monday. Register today! We'd love to have you join us!

Share |