Thoughts on Weaning

In the Montessori tradition, weaning generally happens between 10-14 months, as children start eating more solid food. Weaning is considered to be an important part of helping children cultivate their independence.

That timeline fits with my own preferences for weaning. Once we got over the three rocky months at the beginning, breastfeeding has been much easier. And it's been awesome knowing that I'm nourishing Henry with the healthiest possible thing. But I'm eager to reclaim my body and my independence.

Last week, Henry and I seemed to come down with a yeast problem. He had thrush in his mouth, and I think he passed the yeast infection to my breast (sorry to be graphic, but it felt like shards of glass getting sucked through). It caused me to cut back his milk feedings from five times a day to three. As I am away from the house more and more with my work, I imagine Henry will be breastfeeding less and less until he stops altogether. We've decided not to give him cow's milk to drink every day and instead give him his fat and calcium through other dairy products (cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, etc.), since the protein in milk can be difficult to digest.

There's a wonderful ritual in the Living Passages for the Whole Family book. The author weaned her child at age two, so the ceremony makes sense in ways that don't really make sense for Henry as a one year-old. But I enjoyed reading the ritual and reconnecting with the bigger picture vision of what it means to be a mother.

Here's an excerpt from the poem:

Rise now--you have been nourished well.
Rise now--you have been made strong.
Rise now--knowing life courses through you.

And an excerpt from the script:

"From the time you were a tiny seed inside me, you were fed from my body. When you were born into this world as a baby, you were fed from my breasts. Now, I give you this cup, so you can feed yourself."

I am so thankful for my year of connecting so intimately with my sweet boy and nourishing him through me.

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A Breastfeeding Retrospective

I always knew that I wanted to breastfeed Henry, if it was possible. Of course there are the health benefits (both for the mother and the baby), but I honestly skipped over most of those chapters in my pregnancy, birth, and breast feeding books because I didn't need convincing. Breastfeeding just felt like one of the most natural, simple, and pure processes imaginable.

Although I still think it's one of the most natural, simple, and pure processes around, I also understand the less romantic aspects of it, too.

While I was pregnant, I did a lot of research about breastfeeding. I read books, rented DVDs, went to classes, attended a La Leche League meeting and took lessons from my friends (yes, for real). I still feel like all of that research gave me a solid foundation. And, honestly, I wish I would have done a little more (for example, I didn't learn anything about pumping or storing breast milk). I learned all about the importance of the latch, different holds, possible complications, etc.

Breastfeeding got off to a great start, once we got home from the hospital (after I transferred during my home birth) and my milk came in. I didn't have any engorgement or nipple tenderness. A week later, I was counting my lucky stars that my nipples still weren't tender. My midwife kept saying that if I could make it past the first week, I would be set.

However, at about the week mark, I started having difficulty. First, it was a plugged duct that I had to prevent from turning into mastitis. Then it was extreme nipple tenderness. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep Henry's mouth open and wide; he just wanted to suck on the very tip. Every time I would break the suction and re-latch him, I would be subjected to shooting pain that came at the start of every latch. To make matters worse, Henry wanted to eat for looooooong stretches of time. One day, he ate for a total of nine hours. Because I needed both hands (one to keep his chin down and the other to keep him close), I basically couldn't do anything except watch movies on Netflix (since we don't have a TV). I did try listening to an audio book, but it was boring and I didn't bother getting a different one. In the middle of the night, I needed to turn a light on to see what I was doing. The first week or two, I had to wake Matt up to help me get Henry latched on.

And my nipples were sore all the time. Drying off with a towel or putting on a bra was no fun at all. I kept asking the women from my prenatal yoga class, "When does the pain with latching go away? When will my nipples stop being so sore?" They said 3-4 weeks.

Well, 3-4 weeks came and went and I watched breast feeding get easier and easier for my friends. I had to use My Brest Friend religiously to position Henry right, and I still needed two hands (I prefer this pillow to the Boppy because it can latch behind your back and stay in place more easily; it just depends on personal preference.). They had one hand (or both!) free and looked as comfortable as could be. I finally switched from cloth breast pads to disposable ones, which definitely felt better on my sore nipples.

I went back to the hospital to visit the lactation consultant again. She answered some of my questions and gave me some advice (like just put lanolin on the protruding part of the nipple, not on the entire areola, so that the baby's mouth doesn't slip). I continued to get plugged ducts left and right.

I remember crying a lot. I really wanted to continue breastfeeding, but it felt like so much struggle and sacrifice. I was the only one who could feed Henry in the night (since I hated pumping). Matt couldn't do anything to relieve me of the constant responsibility of feeding my son eight times a day. Thankfully, I persevered to the 6-week mark when things got a lot better. My soreness decreased and the positioning got easier.

At three months, things really got better. Henry suddenly started eating much, much faster, and I was able to free up one of my hands. I stopped having to lug My Brest Friend around with me everywhere.

Now, I'm so, so thankful I persevered through the difficult times. They seem so distant. Even trying to write this post is a struggle because my mind is blurring out the difficult details.

In terms of some practical issues, I still highly recommend this bra. If I had known about it earlier, I would have worn it through my pregnancy (especially because the sizes are only S, M, L, and XL). As far as nursing tops go, I decided not to spend any money on specialized clothing. I tried to stick to tops that could be unbuttoned. I used this shield to cover up in public (which was hot and annoying but sometimes necessary).

Now that I'm more comfortable with everything, it's much easier to breastfeed in public by nestling into a chair and lifting up my shirt. I wish I loved nursing tanks, so that my stomach would be covered, but I find that Henry's body does a decent job of keeping me shielded. Nursing tanks just don't feel comfortable to me.

Despite the difficulties I've had (though not as many difficulties as others), I'm so thankful for my ability to nourish my son. It's amazing to see another human grow and thrive, simply by feasting on something your own body produces.

In the hard moments, I try to remember these things:

• My midwife said that babies are growing and changing so much in those first few weeks. Even if something is hard, it is likely to change very quickly as the baby matures (which has been true of Henry's latch and his sensitivity to cow's milk protein in my body).
  
• Before I know it, Henry is going to be driving a car. These days go so fast, and I should try my very best to savor them and focus on the positive.
  

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Nursing Bra Recommendation

This is not a picture of me, obviously

I was going to title this post "Best Nursing Bra Ever," to go along with my posts about the best chocolate chip cookies ever and the best spaghetti ever, but I figured you all would start to get annoyed with me.

And rightfully so.

But the Bravado! Body Silk Seamless Nursing Soft Cup Bra is amazing.

Don't get me wrong; I didn't want to go the route of expensive nursing bras when I first started out. In fact, I headed straight to Target. Even though people warned me that Target nursing bras would not hold their weight (literally and figuratively), I opted for an inexpensive nursing bra anyway. I'm stubbornly frugal like that.

But then my breasts kept falling out (sorry for the mental movie). Seriously. Every time I would lie on my side to feed Henry on the bottom breast, the top breast would pop out.

So I ventured to Nurtured Family to buy a proper nursing bra. I was a little overwhelmed by all the options, so I simply said, "I would like something that doesn't have underwire, has padding so the outlines of my breast pads don't show through, and is comfortable." The sales associate gave me their most popular bra to try on. I was immediately sold! It's so comfortable and supportive. The padding is removable if you want. And the color selection is good.

I only bought one because they're expensive and I wanted to try it out before buying more. Finally, Matt got on my case enough times about wearing the same bra over and over (an even grosser mental movie!), so I broke down and bought two more.

Happiness!

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REMINDER: Registration is now open for the next Purposeful Conception Course: Preparing Your Mind, Body, and Life for Pregnancy, which starts on September 4. Register today!

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DVD Review: Laugh and Learn About Breast Feeding

Recently, I've commandeered our Netflix queue and have been moving a bunch of baby-related films to the top. Last week, we watched Orgasmic Birth (which I recommend for positive images of birthing, even though it has a general aura of hokeyness to it), and then I watched Laugh and Learn About Breast Feeding.

Initially, I wasn't going to put the movie into my queue because of the cover, but the description sounded useful. I'm so glad I did! It was like taking a real breast feeding course for free (I even practiced along by using a sock monkey as my pretend baby).

I'm convinced that each of us needs to prepare for the birth of our children in whatever way builds our confidence and our excitement. For me, I very much enjoy learning as much as I can from books and movies. Of course I will learn so much more by actually going through the experience, but getting a baseline of information helps me feel more ready as I head into parenthood (even when different sources contradict each other). Honestly, I think confidence is half the battle, so whatever we each need to do to build our confidence, we should do it!

I'll include the notes I took from the video below, in case they're helpful:

• Use a small pillow for back support.
• If baby is swaddled, unwrap him/her first. Swaddling signals sleep.
  
• It's easier to start with regular bed pillows rather than specialized nursing pillows when your stomach is still large and you need to get the baby close.
• Cross-Cradle Position: Right hand holds the baby's neck (as if you were holding the baby out it front of you by the neck). Baby's mouth goes to left breast. Left hand also goes to breast.
• Nose and chin should be right up against the breast. If the nose and chin are not right up against the breast, the baby is too far away and it will cause problems. Don't worry about the baby being able to breathe (that's why they have "pug noses"!).
  
• Football Position: Still need a pillow behind you to push you far enough forward that the baby has room for its feet. Second pillow goes on the side (regular bed pillow are your friend when it comes to breastfeeding!). Left hand supports the baby's neck (same as first position) and you bring the baby to the left breast. This position is particularly good post-c-section. Also, this position can be modified for babies that have reflux. Instead of coming at the breast around the side, they can come around and then sit up so that they latch onto the breast with their head in an upright position.
  
• Sideline Position: Right arm cradles baby as s/he sucks at the right breast and lies on the bed.
• Put finger in mouth and pull jaw down to de-latch a baby (when a baby is latched on, it feels like a "vacuum cleaner").
  
• A baby should be finished burping in 2-3 minutes. To burp them, cover your hand/arm with a burp cloth and use that hand to hold them at the jaw line (with the baby sitting on your lap). Use the other hand to pat and rub the baby loud enough so your partner can hear it across the room. Other strategy is to hold the baby up high on the shoulder (which puts pressure on the gas in the stomach).
• Nurse every 2-3 hours from start to start; 10-15 minutes per side.
• Day One = 1 poop, 1 pee
• Day Two = 2 poops, 2 pees
• Day Three = 3 poops, 3 pees
• Once milk starts to come in, the guideline is 6 pees and 3 poops.
• If the baby is extra sleepy in the first 24-48 hours and you need to wake it, you can hold it under the arms and move it from side to side like a pendulum. To keep a baby awake while breast-feeding, you can nudge it under the chin.
• Consider putting one pinky-sized portion of Lansolin on each nipple once a day to prevent dryness. Also, try to give your breasts as much air and light as possible. You can also cope with sore nipples by soaking them in bowls of salt water or putting tea bags on them. Expect sore nipples for about two weeks.
• Coping with Engorgement: 15 minutes of warm-wet (washcloths, shower, etc.), 15 minutes of nursing on each side, and 15 minutes of ice pack (or a frozen green cabbage leaf). Engorgement last for about 48-hours.
• Most women need to eat about 3,000 calories a day.
• Pump right after a feeding (pump the first three feedings to make enough for a partner to feed the baby at night).
  
• In the fridge = 5-7 days
• In the freezer = 3-6 months
• Best time to by a bra is in the 36th or 37th week of pregnancy.

Also, in case you're interested, here's the link to all my notes: Basic Infant Care.

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REMINDER: Registration is now open for the next Purposeful Conception Course: Preparing Your Mind, Body, and Life for Pregnancy, which starts on January 2. Register today!

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Portable Breastfeeding Station

My dear friend, Carolyn, explained to me the importance of having water bottles on hand to rehydrate oneself, as well as snacks, books, etc. to make breastfeeding more comfortable and to fit in some self-care. When I first heard from mothers that breastfeeding happens all over the house, I thought about setting up "breastfeeding stations" in a couple different rooms.

Although I love the idea in theory, once I started thinking about what it would mean to put a breastfeeding station in the baby's room, the living room, and our bedroom, I started to like the idea less and less. The main problem is that our house is tiny (like 900 or 1,000 square feet). It can look cluttered very quickly. One of my goals as I move into parenthood is to not let our house get overrun with baby stuff.

That's when the idea hit me: a portable breastfeeding station! I know exactly the contraption I need to buy from my local antique store. It's a wooden box/tray with a single handle coming out the top. It looks like something a carpenter might have used. The single handle will allow me to hold the baby, grab the breastfeeding station, and go wherever we want to breastfeed.

Here's what I'm thinking I will put into the portable breastfeeding station:

• iPod (we're going to have a docking station in the baby's room and we already have one in the living room)
  
• Magazines
• Books
• Journal (if I absolutely have to jot down something that I read)
  
• Water bottle
• Snacks
• Burp cloths
• Clipboard with paper and pen for tracking feedings/poopings/etc.

I think all of that will fit into the contraption I'm thinking of. I'll have to see. If not, I'm sure I can find a basket that will do the trick.

In the meantime, can you think of anything else that I might want to have by my side when I'm breastfeeding (aside from a breastfeeding pillow, extra pillows, and the baby?). Thanks for your suggestions!

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