It's August: Time to Shop for Christmas!

I'm someone who really likes to get creative at Halloween and buy or make thoughtful Christmas gifts and yet I don't want those things to feel stressful. My solution is to start thinking about these things in August! 

I keep a running list all year long (inside my to-do list, which is kept in One Note) of gift ideas I have for people. That practice helps me have a head start. If I see something out in the world during the year, I go ahead and buy it. I have a tupperware container in my closet where I keep gifts that I buy early. 

Starting in August, I give myself time and space (instead of going on Facebook) to think through each person and think about what they might like. I draw webs in my notebook with different ideas (like Matt in the center with his interests around it: running, photography, doing puzzles, etc.). I can usually think of something good (or at least good enough!) if I make myself spend time thinking about it. 

So I've already got ideas for Matt's Christmas and birthday presents (they come so close together!), as well as my aunt and my step-father. It's a start! 

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Finding Balance: Reducing Holiday Stress

We are in the final quarter of the year, and I find myself wanting to have a plan. I like going into the new year refreshed and ready. 

Here are some of the things that are on my mind:

• I want to go through our budget and refresh it for the upcoming year. We absolutely need to get better about sticking to the budget we have set for ourselves. Life is always changing and evolving, so we have to intentionally set aside time to update our budget to match our life and then track our spending against it. 
• I want to go through our home to remove, recycle, and donate anything that we don't really need. It's so easy for stuff to accumulate that we don't really use, especially since the boys grow so quickly. (Living room, kitchen, boys' bathroom, boy's room, boys' closet, hallway, office closet, rest of office, master closet, master bedroom, master bathroom, outdoor closet, backyard). It feels like I need to carve out 13 different chunks of time to knock these off the list. 
• Make our holiday card.
• Make personalized gifts.
• Finish our back deck. We are installing a shade sail and trying to create the feel of a little room on our deck. The project has been going on for way too long. I would love to get it finished! 

For updates in between blog posts, find me on Instagram! 

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Holiday Guests

I'm so excited about the impending holidays. We're staying here for Thanksgiving, and my best friend and his sister (who is also our good friend) are flying in from Florida. They'll arrive on Tuesday and Wednesday respectively. On Thursday, we'll trek to Houston for the most delicious dinner at our friend's house. She is the most exquisite vegetarian cook, and we always have the best time with the friends she assembles.

I asked my best friend how he wanted to spend his time during his visit in Austin, and he said he didn't have any preferences. Although I don't want to plan the whole visit myself, I do think it's worth thinking through what our days might look like and creating a list of possibilities to choose from. Otherwise, I can see all of us sitting around indecisively saying, "I'm up for anything. What do you want to do?" 

Henry will basically dictate the general structure of our day since he wakes up at approximately 7am, naps from 12-2pm, and goes to bed at 6:30pm. We'll have the following chunks to fill:

• Tuesday afternoon/evening
• Wednesday morning
• Wednesday afternoon/evening
• Thursday morning
• Friday morning

Here are some ideas of fun things to do:

• Walk around the lake
• Hike on the greenbelt
• Go up to the top of Mt. Bonnell
• Walk to the little farm in our neighborhood to see the llama and goats
• Make pancakes on an electric griddle outside
• Browse the vintage shops on South Congress and eat at the food trucks
• Make dinner together
• Prepare our contributions for Thanksgiving dinner
• Go to a local farm for a Christmas tree (are we getting a Christmas tree this year or will we purchase a live one and replant it?)
• Go to the Alamo Draft House for dinner and a movie (maybe in the evening if we can get a babysitter through the co-op?)
• Play board games
• Make some kind of holiday craft? Like make-your-own-stamp and then write notes to friends on little cards? Or origami paper crane Christmas tree ornaments that we write wishes on?
• Visit the Austin Zoo Sanctuary
• Visit the Boggy Creek Farm stand

If we eat out, some fun experiences might be:

• Chuy's for Tex-Mex on the patio
• Abel's on the Lake for a beautiful view of Lake Travis
• Mandola's for delicious bread and bocce ball
• Eastside Cafe for healthy food and a visit to the garden/chickens
• Kirby Lane for a classic breakfast experience

What kind of food should we have on hand for breakfasts? Maybe ingredients for one or two of the following:

• Oatmeal (with dried cherries and pumpkin seeds)
• Green smoothies (yogurt + spinach + frozen mango + banana)
• Egg sandwiches on whole wheat English muffins with cheese (you can cook an egg in the microwave by cracking it into a bowl that's been sprayed with a little oil, covering it with a dishtowel or papertowel, and cooking it for 1 minute)

It's interesting to see how are traditions are changing over time. Andy and I used to travel to exotic locations during our Thanksgiving Break (like Costa Rica!). Although I miss those kind of adventures, I also look forward to more grounded and calm time with friends. I look forward to good company and conversations!

P.S. Today's post on 2000 Dollar Wedding is a reflection on creating our own lives on our own terms. 

Photo of my best friend and me during our adventures in Costa Rica six years ago (ziplining!)

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P.S.: Purposeful Conception: Preparing Your Mind, Body, and Life for Pregnancy started today. There's still time to join us. Register today! We'd love to get to know you better!

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On Building Community

Inspired by Andrea's idea of having a mantra for the year, I deemed 2012 the year to "make dreams happen." We moved to Austin so I could work on starting the city's first public Montessori school, and we started building momentum for a co-housing community. We identified land (as well as an amazing family to live there with us!). I started attending events sponsored by the folks who had been trying to bring co-housing to Austin for about a decade. I formed a good relationship with one of the founders of that movement. 

The amazing, affordable land that we were going to buy turned out to be entirely in the flood plain (which is a major no-go in Austin development). The family with whom we were going to build a community bought their own house instead (they were in a hurry to settle in before their baby came). I started to realize that I wasn't going to be able to make the co-housing thing work within a timeline that would allow my family to settle in and put down roots in the Austin community fast enough (I want Henry to have the stable, connected childhood that I wasn't able to have). To make it work, we would have had to save up for years to purchase a large parcel of land ourselves and then save up more money to build on it and then sub-divide it and sell it off to people interested in community. The process would have taken years and would have been very lonely in the meantime.

While that was going on, I started doing home visits to meet families interested in sending their children to the school I'm working to start. I met with several families all within the same neighborhood in East Austin. All of the families were creative, welcoming, and interesting--exactly the kind of people I would love to raise Henry around. The neighborhood also happened to be within our target geographic region. We're trying to recruit families from seven neighborhoods, which range from some of the highest poverty areas in Austin to neighborhoods that are already gentrified. We want the school to be racially, culturally, and socio-economically diverse.

I asked my realtor to do a land search for me in the particular neighborhood (which is low- to middle-income), and she found a 1/2 acre for sale that backed up to a creek. Because the co-housing concept was going to require that we build a house, we had already started working with a pre-fab, modular company to figure out how to build a modern, eco-friendly, relatively inexpensive home. 

I worried a lot about the high level of crime in the area, but we ultimately decided that it would be utterly amazing to live within the same community where I want to build a school for diverse families. The house we're building + the land it's on is $4 per square foot less expensive than the average renovated home is selling for within a mile radius.  

So we're getting ready to start construction any day now. We're waiting for the final appraisal to go through (we had to remove the appliances and the fence from the construction budget to lower it). We're also waiting for a building permit from the city.

Now it's time to think about building community. I missed National Night Out this year. Because we're living in a rental in the south of Austin, I haven't wanted to make too many connections and put down too many roots. I'm eager, however, to start connecting with my soon-to-be-neighbors. 

First idea on the to-do list: 

• Schedule a play date at the neighborhood park for families interested in the school. I would love to get to know the families better, answer questions, and begin to introduce Henry to the friends he will go to school with for 11 years (pre-K3 through 8th grade).

Okay, I'm going to go schedule it now...

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Today on 2000 Dollar Wedding: Staying grounded with mantras. 

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New Year's Intentions

From the Nikki McClure Calendar

I apologize for just now getting around to formulating and sharing my intentions for 2012. It's been a hectic holiday with a 16-hour road trip to Florida with a baby and a bloodhound, a plane ride to Indiana and back to Florida, a road trip to the other coast of Florida, a week of being on Henry duty 24-hours a day since Matt had to go back to work in Houston, a weekend with my bonus family (the in-laws) in Orlando for the Disney Marathon (Matt was running, not me), and then another plane trip back to Houston, all while talking with the Buyer's realtor about inspections and appraisals, communicating with the title company to ensure we're ready for closing, searching for a rental house in Austin, turning in my 65,000-word manuscript to my editor, and trying to do some work for Montessori For All.

So, here's to a new year! Woo-hoo!

I loved Andrea's idea of generating a phrase for the year. I like mantras. They are short, easy to remember, and powerful. My mantra for 2012 is:

This is the year to make dreams happen.

Whenever I set goals, I like to think about the accountability that goes along with them. How will I ensure that I follow-through with my intentions? What will be my process for checking in with myself and sustaining my motivation throughout the entire year? What is my process for moving from yearly goals to daily goals?

That reminds me. I've been reading one of my Christmas presents--Strengths Based Leadership: Great Leaders, Teams, and Why People Follow--and they feature Wendy Kopp, the founder of Teach For America. She explains that she starts with yearly goals, breaks them down into monthly goals, then into weekly goals, and finally into daily goals. Awesomeness!

Here we go:

Montessori For All Executive Director:

• Recruit a strong board of directors
• Complete the charter application for the state of Texas
• Generate significant, diverse community support (in the form of a long student waiting list, financial support, community partnerships)
• Raise money (the specific amount is yet to be determined)
  
• Read a leadership or curriculum book every month
• Observe at three or more excellent Montessori schools around the country
  

Director of Operations and Compliance for Austin Achieve:

• Be awesome at my new job (I've been volunteering, but it's going to turn into a part-time, paid position in April!)
  

Community Builder in Austin:

• Purchase a piece of land
• Convince three other families/people to purchase land next to us for our pocket neighborhood
  
• Design and start building a house
• Host a quirky party every month
• Do something every month to build a support network in Austin (batch cooking party, craft date, etc.)
  

Mother:

• Read a parenting book every month
• Be patient with Henry's need to do things for himself from 10-22 months
• Set a specific goal each month, based on Henry's developmental needs
  

Blogger:

• Publish consistently on Feeding the Soil (4x per week) and 2000 Dollar Wedding (3x per week)
• Respond consistently to comments and develop more friendships with readers
  

Author:

• Revise my book to make it as useful as possible
• Work with Kylie to self-publish a book related to Montessori
  

Purposeful Conception E-course:

• Consistently run courses
• Find a partner to take the course to the next level
  

Self:

• Read a fiction book every month
• Run at least three times per week
• Do one sun salutation before bed every night
• Adopt the mantra "let it go," when I find myself complaining about something, being jealous of someone, getting unnecessarily frustrated, or being judgmental
• Implement a Relaxation Ritual every night before bed (sun salutation, reading for fun, talking with Matt)
• Make awesome Halloween costumes

Friend/Family Member:

• Send birthday cards
• Give thoughtful Christmas presents

Now it's time to break those yearly goals into monthly goals. Here's what I intend to accomplish in January:

• Select at least three people for the Montessori For All Board of Directors.
  
• Follow our project plan for getting our house ready for our move to Austin.
• Find a good rental house in Austin.
  
• Get unpacked and settled in Austin fast.
• Read Strengths Based Leadership.
• Read Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys.
• Help Henry build his iron supplies with a green smoothie every day (he's slightly anemic).
  
• Publish consistently on my two blogs.
• Finish my sections for the Montessori book I'm working on with Kylie.
• Participate daily in the Purposeful Conception e-course.
• Read Love Medicine.
• Run at least three times per week.
• Do one sun salutation before bed every night.
• Send birthday cards.
• Plan my birthday party.
  

I have other ideas that I'd like to include in these lists (like a Feeding the Soil retreat!), but I don't want to overstretch myself. This is a lot. It's doable, but it's a lot. There's always next year.

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Today on 2000 Dollar Wedding: My idea for a 5-year anniversary party in 2013.

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REMINDER: The next Purposeful Conception Course: Preparing Your Mind, Body, and Life for Pregnancy starts this weekend on January 15. Register today! We'd love to have you join us!

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Moving Day To-Do List

Holy Moly, Matt and I got an offer on our house!

I will go into all the details once we officially seal the deal. We still have to get through the inspection period. In the meantime, it's time to start planning a move (which might happen as early as Jan. 26). I really want to purge and organize everything before it gets put into boxes. There's no reason to move stuff we don't use.

If you have your own desire to declutter and organize, you might find this calendar for the year helpful. Moxie shared it in the Feeding the Soil community, and it looks awesome.

Here's our crazy-crunch plan:

Mon. 1/9

• Organize all the paperwork in our bedroom closet and revise our system for the future.
  

Tues. 1/10

• Prepare the living room, purging and organizing everything, so that it is completely ready to go in boxes.

Wed. 1/11

• Prepare the dining room, purging and organizing everything, so that it is completely ready to go in boxes.

Thurs. 1/12

• Prepare the kitchen, purging and organizing everything, so that it is completely ready to go in boxes.

Fri. 1/13

• Prepare Henry's room, purging and organizing everything, so that it is completely ready to go in boxes.

Sat. 1/14

• Prepare the attic, purging and organizing everything, so that it is completely ready to go in boxes.

Sun. 1/15

• Rest and catch up!

Mon. 1/16

• Prepare the bathroom, purging and organizing everything, so that it is completely ready to go in boxes.

Tues. 1/17

• Prepare the master bedroom, purging and organizing everything, so that it is completely ready to go in boxes.

Wed. 1/18

• Pack the craft closet into boxes.

Thurs. 1/19

• Pack the master bedroom closet into boxes.

Fri. 1/20

• Pack the bathroom into boxes.

Sat. 1/21

• Clean out the chicken coup and move the chickens to Austin.

Sun. 1/22

• Pack the kitchen into boxes.

Mon. 1/23

• Pack the master bedroom into boxes.
  

Tues. 1/24

• Pack Henry's room, the dining room, and the living room into boxes. Wash all the rugs. Pull everything out of the attic.
  

Wed. 1/25

• Host a moving party and invite friends over to help us pack up the truck. The last thing we will do is vacuum before packing the vacuum in the truck. That night, Matt and I will sleep on the mattress from the pull-out couch, Henry will sleep on his floor bed, and Hoss will sleep on his bed. We will have one suitcase, cleaning supplies, and the hand vacuum with us. That night, we will patch holes in the walls and clean absolutely everything one last time.

Thurs. 1/26

• Closing day! Matt will drive the truck and I will drive one of our cars. We will leave our other car at a friend's house. We will come back for the other car soon. Alternatively, we will tow the car behind the truck, depending on cost options.

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Today at 2000 Dollar Wedding: A conversation about courage and a link to my friend's new blog about doing something that scares you every week.

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Fall! A List of Intentions

Image courtesy of treasureagain

Believe it or not, I can tell that fall has descended upon Houston. Of course it still feels hot, but it's not an oppressive, inferno kind of heat.

The summer came and went, and I don't really feel like I had a chance to "seize the season." I was inspired by Amanda's list, but I couldn't seem to make time for own delicious list making.

So now fall is here, and I want to set some intentions. How can I best take advantage of the fall for myself and for our little family?

Let's see:

• Go to a pumpkin patch! Yes and yes! It would be so fun to take Henry to his first pumpkin patch.
• Make homemade Halloween costumes for Henry and me.
• Bake pumpkin seeds.
• Make caramel apples.
• Knit something.
• Make and send Thanksgiving cards to friends and family.
• Decorate our house for the holidays.
• Use my crock pot frequently.
• Use my bread machine frequently.
• Get my hands on this book to give me more ideas about taking full advantage of each season.
  

I don't want to make the list too long. It's meant to be a source of inspiration, not stress. But if I'm excited by another idea, I'll surely add it to the list, so please do share your own intentions!

Happy Fall to you and yours!

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Reducing Stress

Gosh, even writing yesterday's post about all my stress made me more stressed.

The thing is, my life isn't going to get any less stressful than it is now. Sure, some of my stresses are unique to my current situation. Balancing work and Henry is difficult and so is adjusting to my new identity and life post-baby.

But starting a school from scratch is going to be even more difficult. In all honesty, it will be like giving birth to a second child. I'm choosing to bring that kind of stress into my life because I'm passionate about dedicating myself to a worthwhile endeavor. But if I don't learn how to filter the stress in a healthy way, then I won't be living a joyful life.

It seems to me that I need both proactive and reactive strategies for coping with the inevitable stress in life.

Let me revisit a post I wrote awhile ago about de-stressing (at the time, I was preparing for conception and wanted to be as healthy as possible).

Here's an excerpt:
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1. Find a natural, whole foods cookbook (maybe this one?)
2. Set aside time to relax every night before bed
3. Practice breathing all the way into my belly
4. Stop complaining
   
5. Do yoga (for crying out loud!)
6. Start taking walks after dinner
7. Take 25 deep breaths as I fall asleep

In short, ... "Breathe more deeply, eat more simply, and move more frequently."
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As for the good nutrition: Matt and I have been eating out every single night, since our house is on the market and we are trying to keep everything clean, clean, clean. I'm not sure if it actually alleviates stress (since we don't have to do much shopping, food preparation, or cleaning) or if it makes it more stressful because we are eating unhealthier things. Maybe next week we should try to pick meals from our easiest cookbook (I know Matt is supposed to be planning our meals--which he did for two weeks before we started eating out--but I kind of want the control back). Or maybe I should spend half of Sunday making meals that I can pull out of the freezer all week long?

As for setting aside time each night before bed: I've been terrible about this since Henry came along, but the idea is very appealing. I would like to pick up the house, do some quick yoga stretches, study Spanish, and read (for pleasure).

As for the other things on the list: Yes, yes, yes! I need to recommit to doing them as well.

Plus, I think I need to get a massage once a month. We have a massage school that offers inexpensive massages. Perhaps I could do that. And I need a date night with Matt at least once a month!

I think putting these kind of routines into place will help me proactively stay more grounded.

In terms of reactive strategies, I think the deep breathing will help. I also think I need to cultivate more duck feathers and let silly things roll off (like terrible Houston drivers). I also tend to have an over-analytical mind and I like to critique things. I really think focusing more on the positive would help me reduce stress.

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Home Organization

So I've been wanting to clean and organize our house for a while. I'm the kind of person who feels happier and more comfortable in a clean and organized environment (I actually wish I weren't so sensitive to my environment!). Lots of other things keep getting in the way (like my three-month-old, a lack of motivation, other more urgent deadlines, etc.).

And then I got a request in the comments section of this post from WilderMiss to post a tour of my house. I've been wanting to do it for a while, so her request was a little kick in the pants.

And then I got an e-mail from reader Emily letting me know that she's moving to Houston and would be interested in looking at our house. I let her know that I would be posting pictures soon, but then she responded with the fact that she would be in Houston the following day to look at houses.

So I invited her to stop by our house, and that was a huge kick in the pants to get the place clean and organized. Thank you, Emily!

I feel so, so fortunate that the love of my life, Matt, also happens to be an equal partner. We worked together to get everything put away and cleaned. After we were done, I realized that we simply must, must, must commit to keeping our place picked up and organized as much as possible. I seriously feel so much better.

I've been pondering how to keep one's house picked-up and organized, and I think it comes down to these things:

1. Purge, purge, purge: Matt, Henry, and I have things that we no longer use. Our shelves are overflowing with books we never reference. Henry's closet is full of clothes he's already outgrown. I think the first step to maintaining an orderly environment is getting rid of stuff. It doesn't make any sense to clean and organize stuff you don't really need/want.
2. Make purging a habit: It seems to me that purging has to be an ongoing habit. I wonder what's the best way to make it a habit? Is it to keep a constant eye out for things that could be donated or tossed out? I once read about someone who had a specific box that she used to collect things for donation. When the box got full, she donated it. How could that work for us? I seriously don't know where we could store a box. I wonder if Matt would be willing to keep it in his trunk (since he's the one who always takes our donations to the store)? Also, my trunk is already full with Henry's stroller, since we try to reduce baby clutter in our house.
3. Be intentional about what comes into the house: If we are more intentional about what we buy and bring into the house, then we will be able to spend less time purging it.
   
4. Make a place for everything: If everything has a place, then everything can be put away. But making a place for everything is easier said than done! I find that it's particular hard to find a place for phones and computers while they are charging.
   
5. Reduce the number of dumping sites: We have three main areas that collect stuff in our house: our dining room table, the other table against the wall in our dining room, and the bench in our bedroom. We leave hats, mail, boxes, laundry--the list goes on and on. Three dumping sites leads to a lot of clutter!
6. Make it a habit to organize the dumping sites: If something takes three minutes or less to process (e.g., mail, trash pick-up, putting away a hat, etc.), then we should do it right away, no matter how busy we feel. If something will take longer than that, then we should give ourselves permission to organize it later.
7. Put stuff away at a specified time each day: For our family, it would work best if we would do a final walk through of our house before going to bed each night and pick-up whatever needs to be returned to its place. That way, we could wake up to a clean house.

Of course, changing one's habits is never easy. For me to turn something into a habit, I have to be very clear about what the action looks like, and then I have to have a regular schedule for implementing the action.

So in terms of my next steps, here's what I'm thinking:

1. Go through our book shelves and purge the books we don't really need.
2. Ask Matt if he would be willing to keep an ongoing box or bag in his car for donations.
3. Process Henry's clothes as soon as he outgrows them. I've decided that I'm going to make him a quilt for his first birthday out of my favorite outfits from his first year, so I have a bag in his closet where I can collect them. The other outfits should be put in the donation bag or box right away.
4. I need to clean out and improve upon our filing system.
   
5. I need to process all of our papers that need to be filed.
6. Do a walk through and pick-up every night. When would be the best time? Perhaps after dinner? Right before bed isn't good for me because Henry will have just gone to sleep, and I don't want to be banging around the house.
7. I already went through Henry's toys and organized them into two separate categories. There are a couple toys out on his shelf. There are other toys in a basket that I can pull out and rotate onto his shelf every once in a while. Then there are toys in a plastic container that he's not ready for yet. When he's ready for them, I can rotate them into the basket to then be rotated onto the shelf (in a Montessori environment, we limit the number of toys that children can choose from at a given time, in order to keep the level of stimulation just right). I need to be good about keeping this system up.
8. Lastly, I want to read really good books about home organization. I'm feeling totally inspired and passionate about this topic, especially since we plan to move to Austin in the coming months and we'll be setting up a new home. Do you have any recommendations?
   

Any experience with Martha Stewart's book?

I was able to order this book from the library.

One final thought: I really need to clean out my e-mail inbox. It currently has 1,344 messages. That will be a good project while breast feeding!

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Traveling with an Infant

My brother Dustin and I in 2005

Henry and I are heading to Florida for my brother's graduation!

Although little Henry traveled to more than 20 states in utero, this plane trip will be his first as a "big boy." Matt won't be going because tickets are simply too expensive and the timing is awkward.

I'm a little nervous about how it's all going to go down, but I'm excited. Here's how I plan to make the process as smooth as possible:

• I booked only non-stop flights. Since it's only a 2-hour trip from Houston to Tampa, I figured it would be easier not to change planes.
• I plan to minimize the amount of stuff I bring. I will only carry one traveler's backpack for our luggage, one diaper bag as my carry-on, and our car seat. We'll have Matt park at the airport and bring us in, so he can carry the car seat and my backpack and check them at the counter. We'll have to pay to check the bag, but the car seat is free. Then I will carry Henry in the Moby, with my diaper bag on my arm.
• I will try to ask for a pat-down to get through security, so I can leave Henry in the Moby wrap (fingers crossed!).
  
• To help save space in our luggage and to make the process easier, I will ask my mom to buy diapers for us, instead of using our cloth diapers.
• When we arrive in Florida, my family can carry the car seat and my luggage, while I carry Henry in the Moby and my diaper bag.

Easier said than done!

Here's what I need to pack:

• 10 outfits for Henry (we'll be gone 5 days; I can always do laundry if I need to)
• Henry's swim diaper and rash guard
• Our natural sunscreen
• Henry's hat
• A small but thick blanket for Henry to lay on when he's not being held
• Clothes for me
• My swimsuit
• My sunglasses
• Phone charger (I guess I'll leave my computer at home--hopefully I won't go into withdrawal!)
• Soap/shampoo/conditioner/face wash/razor/comb/toothbrush/toothpaste/floss
• Vitamins
• Phone
• Books to read
• Shoes
• Wallet
• Diapers and wipes for the trip
• Our portable changing pad cloth
• My breast feeding cover
• Henry's special soap
• Pacifiers
• Henry's nail clippers (yes, they will need to be cut during a 5-day span)
• Henry's birth certificate (luckily I ordered a wallet-sized one in addition to the regular one)
  

I'll keep adding to this list until we depart!

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Birth To-Do List

On Saturday, Matt and I hit the one-month mark until the official due date of our baby. I've never been one to buy into the idea of a "due date" because most babies don't arrive on said date, but that's what's making me nervous. It would be perfectly normal and healthy for him to come in two weeks. Two weeks!

I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of things that I need/want to get done before he arrives. Some of the things on the list are absolute necessities (like get all the supplies we need for our home birth and pick a darn name). Other things will make the transition easier (like prepare as much of the birth announcement as possible).

I imagine some of my overwhelmed feelings stem from the enormity of the impending transition. Our lives will never be the same again. I've cried a little to mourn the passing of our life together as we know it.

I have to remember, too, that I knew this month would be hard with so much time devoted to our childbirthing classes. It's been exacerbated by the sheer clutter around our house. Our dining room table (which is basically the center of our home and our life) is crowded with boxes and baby paraphernalia and car registration forms and bills. Matt and I finally got around to clearing it off, and it has made a huge difference. I wish I weren't so sensitive to my surroundings, but I am! Just decluttering and cleaning a space helps my stress level a lot.

I'm trying not to let myself carry too much stress. It's not good for anyone involved, especially not the baby. I'm looking forward to hopefully checking a lot off my list this weekend. I want to get the "must do" items completed, so I can focus on grounding myself and preparing myself for the birth.

Here's my current to-do list (a mix of needs and wants):

• Create a packet for visitors who want to help us (it's not helpful if you have to answer a gazillion questions as they are trying to help)
• Schedule and attend an infant CPR class
• Get car seat installed
• Finalize birth announcement
• Make comfrey tea compresses
• Go on a massive shopping trip for all the birth supplies we need
• Write birthday cards for the next couple months
• Bring our living Christmas tree to school to be planted
• Create a "room service" plan for after the birth (including a list of places that deliver)
  
• Type up directions to our house
• Finalize our transport plan and post it
• Create a cheat sheet for birthing positions and reminders about drinking, eating, and urinating
  
• Visit the back-up ob/gyn
• Meet with the pediatrician for a new mom consultation
• Finish the crafts on my craft plan
• Get my car emissions tested
• Update our scrapbook
• Get the baby's scrapbook ready
• Go in for one more ultrasound
• Read more about birth
• Pick a name
• Buy everything off our registry that we didn't receive as gifts but still need
• Send thank you cards
• Finish bathroom changing station
• Schedule blog posts for my maternity leave
• Create new Life Binder
• Learn how to use Moby and Ergo and practice swaddling
  
• Install the infant adapter on our BOB Revolution stroller
  
• Review notes about how to take care of an infant
• Watch Laugh and Learn about infant care
  
• Schedule lactation consultant
• Visit the chiropractor
• Make e-mail list for baby announcements
• Set up auto-reply for e-mail
• Make sheets for co-sleeper
• Finish family mission statement
• Return a duplicate gift we got off our registry
• Return the baby's rug to Home Depot, since we found it for $100 less on Overstock
• Make a book for Coconut about the story of his birth (well, get it started)
• Attend a La Leche League meeting
• Sync iPhone
  

I actually feel better seeing the list here rather than in my notebook. I accidentally mixed my "Before the Birth" list with my "To Buy" list in my notebook, so it looks more overwhelming than it actually is. I'm feeling optimistic that I can get a lot of this done this weekend and then go into more of a meditative and relaxing mode in the days leading up to the birth.

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Happy Holidays & A Happy New Year!

My vacation has officially started! I have lots to get done before the holidays, most of which relates to finalizing the baby's room (I promise a photo tour will be forthcoming!) and getting the binder together that will have all the information people need to best help out around the house once the baby is born.

I'll also be setting aside some time for reflection. At the end of every year, I like to look back and celebrate what I'm proud of, think about what I wish I would have done differently, and set my intentions for the year new. I use this form to guide my process, and then I make a visual collage to represent the year. I know I've mentioned it before, and I don't mean to sound redundant. I just wanted to close this season with a nod to introspection and mindfulness.

Wishing you community, connection, warmth, love, and fun this holiday. Happy New Year! I'll see you in 2011!

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A Tentative Post-Baby Daily Rhythm

Lists, lists, lists!

For those of you who get really irritated with my passion for planning (or those of you who think I'm spiraling into delusion and disappointment by planning things that can't possibly be planned), be forewarned that you might not want to read this post. Who needs to elevate their own stress levels by subjecting themselves to something that is really, really going to bother them? Seriously, why not close this site and go check out something more lighthearted?

For the rest of you, I'm going to share some of my thinking about what my life might be like when I'm on maternity leave.

First, I must state for the record that I absolutely hear and believe people when they say, "Be prepared to get nothing done. There are days when showering is just too much of a stretch."

I am preparing for the adjustment to life with a newborn as much as I possibly can. I'm asking my mom and bonus mom (i.e., my mother-in-law) to come and stay with us at separate times after the birth to help take care of the house, cook, do laundry, walk the dog, etc. Once they go, I'm going to ask friends to deliver meals, mow our lawn, and do our grocery shopping for several more weeks. I've also been talking with Matt about how important it is for him to take paternity leave (for all of us!). I'm setting myself up to have zero obligations (I'm writing posts in advance for this blog, and I've asked guest posters to cover 2000 Dollar Wedding for at least five weeks). I won't run another Purposeful Conception Course: Preparing Your Mind, Body, and Life for Pregnancy for a while.

Even with all those supports in place, I know it will still be hard. Plus, we may struggle with things that we can't even anticipate right now (e.g., medical difficulties, colic, other unexpected life-changing events in our family, etc.).

With that said, I still need to think through what kind of life I want to live when I'm home alone with a baby. Personally, I'm much more productive, intentional, and happy if I plan such things in advance (or at least jot some things down on a brainstorming list). I absolutely acknowledge that this list may fall completely by the wayside, but I'll still be glad I created it because it gives me immense reassurance right now. I am very much looking forward to life with a new baby (which is a great place to be as we head into the final months before the birth).

So, enough of that rambling preamble. Here is my current list of what kind of daily routine I might want to have, once things have settled down a bit in our household:

• Stay in bed until I have slept 8 hours (I got this idea out of a book; basically, I wake up and feed the baby all night long and into the morning, but I don't actually get up and out of bed in the morning until I have slept a total of 8 hours, no matter how long that takes!)
• Shower
• Practice Spanish while breastfeeding (using these CDs)
• Write one blog post while the baby naps
• Take the baby for a walk in the Moby wrap or Ergo carrier with a neighbor of mine (hooray for adult conversation!)
  
• Give the baby a massage
• Spend time out in nature with the baby
• Give the baby tummy time and lie-on-your-back-and-stare-at-mobiles time
  
• Read the baby a story
• Read my own books while breastfeeding
• Do laundry, tidy up the house, and talk on the phone while wearing the baby, if possible
• Nap (during one of the baby's naps)
• Go on occasional outings to visit friends, browse antique stores, tutor my children at school
• Try to fit in some of my own work, either while the baby is napping or while the baby is entertaining himself with mobiles
• Spend quality time with Matt

I'll keep you updated about how it goes!

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December: Reflection & Rejuvenation

From the Nikki McClure Calendar

Wow. We are officially heading into the last month of 2010. I think this marks the end of a decade. It's strange to me how I can compartmentalize so much of my life chapters according to the decades. The '80s were my childhood. The '90s were high school and college. The '00s started with my career, took me on a self-subsidized sabbatical, and connected me with my life partner. And now the next decade marks the beginning of my journey as a parent and the wholehearted pursuit of some of my bigger dreams related to building community and revolutionizing education.

Okay, I won't go too deeply down the path of end-of-year reflection. I like to save that process for my New Year's ritual (my best friend Andy, Matt, and I always fill out a reflection form and make collages to visually represent our intentions for the upcoming year).

Let's see how I fared according to my intentions for this month:

• Organize the bedroom: I started this task, but didn't finish it.
  
• Organize the kitchen: Ditto.
  
• Pull together Matt's birthday present: Yes! I was quite happy with it.
  
• Invite a friend over for a dinner party: I put this on Matt's plate (pun intended), and it didn't end up working out.
  
• Attend a La Leche meeting: I tried, but I ended up missing it because the website was down and by the time I finally located the address and forged through the Houston traffic, the meeting was over.
  
• Spend Thanksgiving vacation engaged in a two-person writing retreat (with my best friend): We decided not to work on our writing because he just bought a new house and wanted to obsess about how to decorate it, and I was equally obsessed with how to decorate the baby's room.
  
• Help Matt plan his birthday party: Yes! It was very, very fun.
  
• Spruce up our front porch: Yes! I suffered through the intolerable project of making new cushions.
  
• Buy holiday presents: Yes!
  
• Organize the living room: Yes!
  
• Keep working on baby's room: Yes!
  
• Learn about infancy: I feel like I've learned almost as much as I can about infancy, so I've moved on to learning about birth.
  
• Relax and rest: Yes, for the most part, I've still been able to nap and exercise every day. I also go to prenatal yoga once a week.
  

And here are my intentions for the upcoming month:

• Organize dining room (as well as the rooms that didn't get finished last month)
  
• Enroll participants for the last Purposeful Conception Course: Preparing Your Mind, Body, and Life for Pregnancy before I have a baby (starts January 2)
• Have fun implementing our new holiday traditions
• Finish putting together the baby's room
• Finalize our baby registry and send out the link
  
• Plan our baby shower for January
• Plan my birthday party for early February (I promise it will be low-key, since I'll be in my last month of pregnancy)
• Continue learning about birth
• Have friends over for dinner
• Start working on my New Year's Reflection form
  
• Rest & relax

I'm looking forward to it!

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November: Reflection & Rejuvenation

From the Nikki McClure Calendar

The months are flying by! But it's good. I'm simultaneously excited that we're getting closer and closer to the birth (we're due in mid-February) and I'm satisfied that I'm dutifully preparing for it. I think I can attribute my joyful attitude to the fact that I'm consciously making space in my life for pregnancy. I work ten hours a day on school stuff, but then I come home and take an hour-long nap and then take Hoss on an hour-long walk. Matt and I cook together about four times a week and enjoy meals out approximately three times a week. Then I usually have a good hour and a half to relax before bed (and I religiously get 7-8 hours of sleep).

Ironically, it takes a ton of work to prioritize resting, exercising, and preparing healthy foods, but I feel like it's making all the difference in my pregnancy. I'm continuing to take my other commitments seriously and meet all of my obligations, but I'm also honoring the work that my body is doing and giving my mind and heart the space they need to do their important work. These foundational years in our child's life are so important. I want to tend to them with the steadfastness and dedication they deserve.

I hope to continue along the same path once the baby arrives and I'm on maternity leave. I'm trying to set up tons of support systems to ease the transition. I'm also making plans to clear my obligations and responsibilities, so that I can prioritize our changing life and its new demands.

In terms of my to-do list for this month, I've been falling a little behind. I'm okay with it because I've also been working ahead on tasks that are coming up in later months. I think it will balance out in the end. Specifically, here's what I've accomplished this month off my list:

• Learn about infancy
• Complete holiday decorations
• Travel to Dallas to make a presentation about Montessori
• Travel to the Austin area to watch Matt run a marathon
• Hire a doula
• Keep adding to baby registry
• Execute the second Purposeful Conception Course
  
• Buy a new desk (we just moved the desk/end table out of our bedroom and into the baby's room)
• Work on the baby's room
• Make birthday banner
• Travel to Austin to support Matt in a race
  
• Relax and rest

Here are my intentions for the month of November:

• Organize the bedroom
• Organize the kitchen
  
• Pull together Matt's birthday present
• Invite a friend over for a dinner party
• Attend a La Leche meeting
• Spend Thanksgiving vacation engaged in a two-person writing retreat (with my best friend)
  
• Help Matt plan his birthday party
• Spruce up our front porch
• Buy holiday presents
• Organize the living room
• Keep working on baby's room
• Learn about infancy
• Relax and rest

Some things to keep in mind for December:

• Create our birth binder
• Advertise for the last Purposeful Conception course before the baby arrives

I just spent a few minutes transferring things from this list to my calendar. If I don't transfer it, I'm like to "set it and forget it." I'll only have two weekends at home next month, so I'm likely to be a bit busy!

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Our Front Porch Makeover

Matt and I desperately need to spruce up our front porch. When we first moved in, we bought a great little couch and ottoman from Target, and I made cushions for our porch swing.

Since then, however, half of our porch swing cushion has gone missing (I think it blew away when we were on vacation--I never did get around to making little ties for it), and the other half has completely faded, due to sun exposure. Also, the IKEA table is completely weathered (and not in a cool, antiquey sort of way).

It's time for a change.

Here's what I'm thinking:

1. Make a new porch swing cushion (I hate making the same thing twice, but I need to suck it up and get it done!). This time, I need to use a fabric that is better designed to withstand the elements.
   
2. I think we should hang some plants, like the folks did over at Young House Love or the woman at Making it Lovely did.
3. We definitely need to get a new door mat.
4. I need to refinish or remove the table. I'm thinking it might be cool to sew some floor cushions and store them in an IKEA basket on the front porch. I'll have to play with that idea a little.
   

So many projects, so little time!

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What Do You Need in Your Life?

When I worked on the national staff of Teach For America, I learned about a helpful exercise for cultivating work/life balance (although we didn't call it that; the exact name is escaping me). And it's very simple.

It goes something like this:

You make a list of what you need in your life on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis.

I'm feeling the need to sit down and think through my list again (I've done this exercise a lot!). I want to make sure I find that delicate balance between my own needs and my growing baby's needs.

So here it goes:

Daily

• Engaging and meaningful work
  
• Approximately eight hours of sleep
• An hour-long walk
• Healthy meals and snacks
• Time to talk and cuddle with Matt
• Time on my computer
• A nap (since I've been pregnant)
  
• Time to decompress before bed (for reading, etc.)
• Introspection through journaling
  

Weekly

• Phone conversations with friends and family
• Extended time to do something interesting (attend a quirky event, craft, etc.)
  
• Time to do chores and go grocery shopping
• Yoga
  

Monthly

• Social time with friends
  
• A date night with Matt

Yearly

• Travel (preferably international)
• Time to reflect on the previous year and establish intentions for the upcoming year

Every time I engage in this activity, I'm struck by how little I actually need to feel fulfilled! My next step is to print these out and tape them to the back of the collage I made to represent my intentions for 2010 (see image above).

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October: Reflection & Rejuvenation

Image courtesy the Nikki McClure calendar

September has come and gone. It seems so short and long simultaneously. Matt and I traveled to Indiana for a wedding at the beginning of the month, and that seems so long ago. However, I barely had time to accomplish everything on my to-do list this month. Now that I'm looking back over my calendar, I realize why! I was only home for one weekend this month. Egad!

Here are the intentions I set for myself at the beginning of the month:

• Work on Halloween costume: Yes! My crystal-ball reader (with my pregnant belly as the ball) is almost finished. I'm done with the skirt, the shirt, the turban, and most of the jewelry. I just need to sew the fabric that will wrap around my belly (which I can't do until Halloween gets closer), and I need to borrow some bangles from someone. That's it!
  
• Organize the bedroom: I tried to work on it this weekend (which was technically October), but we really need to get a new bookshelf for storage in the closet first. I dragged Matt to IKEA and we bought a bookshelf, but it turned out to be the wrong size. I started working on the kitchen instead.
  
• Learn about taking care of an infant (breastfeeding, sleeping, bathing): Yes! I've been working on this whenever I have some time to relax before bed.
  
• Attend a conference for public Montessori teachers: Yep! My presentation went well.
  
• Travel to Indiana for an awesome wedding: Hooray!
  
• Work on birth announcements: Yep. I started the collage in Snapfish, bought the labels, started the Excel sheet for all the addresses, and did the graphic design for the label.
  
• Relax and rest: Yes! I've done a really good job of walking for nearly an hour and taking a nap for nearly an hour almost every single day. I'm trying to make plenty of room in my life for my pregnancy.
  

What's on the docket for October?

• Organize the bedroom
• Learn about infancy
• Complete holiday decorations
• Make Matt's birthday present
  
• Travel to Dallas to make a presentation about Montessori
• Travel to the Austin area to watch Matt run a marathon
• Hire a doula
• Keep adding to baby registry
• Spruce up our front porch
• Execute the second Purposeful Conception Course
  
• Buy a new desk
  
• Relax and rest

This month, I'm going to plot these things out on my calendar right now. I felt like I saved everything until the end last time!

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August: Reflection & Rejuvenation

Image courtesy the Nikki McClure calendar

The month of The Return to School is already here. Pure craziness! Let's check in and see how the reality of my life aligns with my intentions for July:

1. Enjoy an amazing two-week road trip with Matt. Yes! Yes! Yes! It was so very fun.
   
2. Attend professional development outside of Austin. This got canceled. At least I had a little extra time to start getting ready for school.
   
3. Try to fill up registration for my e-course. I didn't get to 100 participants, but I'm excited about the people who did enroll!
   
4. Facilitate grade-level collaboration among my Montessori colleagues as we prepare for the new year. Yep!
   
5. Continue nourishing my body with good food and exercising my body. As much as I could, considering the constraints of my first trimester of pregnancy!
   

My intentions for August:

1. Enjoy a mini-vacation with Matt as we trek to Las Vegas for a conference and spend a few extra days at Zion National Park.
2. Have fun participating in my Purposeful Conception course.
   
3. Accomplish my massive to-do list before school starts. Get to a place where I can actually sit and meditate in my classroom before school starts.
4. Prepare to present a workshop at a conference in September.
5. Organize our office.
6. Spanish, Spanish, Spanish. Enough said.
   
7. Finish learning all I can about pregnancy.
8. Relax and rest!

What are your intentions for August?

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Pregnancy Project Plan

Wow. There is so much to learn about this whole pregnancy/parenthood thing! For example, I was just over at Offbeat Mama, learning about lochia for the first time.

I think it's so easy focus on learning about the immediate stage you're in and lose sight of the fact that by the time you're in the next stage, there isn't enough time to learn everything you need to know for that stage.

I've been trying to stay one step ahead (learn about conception before trying to conceive; learn about pregnancy while trying to conceive; learn about post-partum infant care while pregnant), but it's hard. I find myself wanting to nap all the time during the first trimester. When I'm awake, I have other work I need to get done.

I'm feeling a project plan coming on. I can't help it. Planning makes me feel better. I know I need to be careful not to overdo it. Pregnancy is a time for rest and reflection, not a time to be an overly-ambitious doing-machine. But when I feel overwhelmed by how much I have to learn or do, it helps me to spread it out over all the available time I have. Let's see:

August:

• Prepare to present a workshop at a conference in September
• Organize our office
• Finish learning all I can about pregnancy
• Relax and rest
  

September:

• Work on Halloween costume
• Organize the bedroom
• Learn about taking care of an infant (breastfeeding, sleeping, bathing)
• Relax and rest

October:

• Plan Matt's birthday present
• Organize the kitchen
• Make holiday decorations
• Continue learning about taking care of an infant
• Relax and rest

November:

• Buy holiday presents
• Organize the living room
• Develop plan for baby's room
• Learn about giving birth
• Relax and rest

December:

• Put up a tree
  
• Organize the dining room
• Start getting stuff for baby's room (including all necessary baby items)
  
• Continue learning about giving birth
• Start making stuff for the baby
• Relax and rest

January:

• Organize the bathroom
• Ask Matt to clean out attic
• Put together baby's room
• Continue learning about giving birth
• Continue making stuff for the baby
• Find a housekeeper for the next couple months
• Relax and rest

February:

• Rest and center myself
• Continue making stuff for the baby

Phew! That list seriously makes me feel better. Each month has a digestible amount of stuff.

Please tell me what items are missing from my to-do list!

-------------------------------------
P.S. You can head over to 2000 Dollar Wedding to enter to win a free spot in my upcoming Purposeful Conception course!

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