Book Club: Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

I'm so glad we have this little book club going on! It helps hold me accountable for actually reading the book. But that's part of the problem, right? The goal is to be internally motivated and to follow-through with the promises I make to myself. Hmph!

I loved Covey's point about keeping promises to ourselves and others as an essential component of living a life of integrity and proactivity. I think I do pretty well on that front, but there's definitely room for improvement. When we trust that we will follow-through on the goals we set for ourselves, then we feel more in control of our lives. We feel like anything is possible.

Some related quotes that resonated with me:

• "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."--Aristotle
• "Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits. 'Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny,' the maxim goes."

The first habit of proactivity empowers me. I believe what Covey says: "It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions."

The idea that there is a space between a stimulus and my response helps me feel more in control of my own life. Although this idea has lots of implications for how I interact with other people, I find that I apply it to myself all the time. I admit that I can't control my immediate emotional response to things, but I can control my actions in response to those emotions.

I've been working hard to live a more proactive life ever since I read the first couple chapters of this book six or seven years ago. For example, if I'm in a team meeting at school and people start complaining about something, I usually interject with the comment, "So what are we going to do about it?" If there's nothing we can do (i.e., if it's only in our "Circle of Concern"), then there's no reason to waste time and energy complaining about it. If there is something we could do about it (i.e., if it's in our "Circle of Influence"), then we should stop complaining and start making an action plan.

I can definitely improve in this area, too. I find that it's hard for me to distinguish between cathartic venting to Matt and downright dwelling in my frustrations.

I also enjoyed reading the list of reactive versus proactive language. "There's nothing I can do" versus "Let's look at our alternatives." Or "He makes me so mad" versus "I control my own feelings."

Proactivity is definitely a value I hold near and dear, and it's something I want to continue to cultivate.

The one thing that bothered me about this chapter was the lack of discussion about the ways in which privilege affects the outcomes of proactivity. Our race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, etc. can affect what happens when we exert our proactivity. The whole "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" idea is very lovely except that it ignores the U.S.'s history of oppression and the barriers that still remain.

As far as my next steps go:

• Pay attention to the commitments that I make to myself and others and work wholeheartedly to follow through on them.
• Look at situations through the lens of my "Circle of Concern" versus my "Circle of Influence" and respond with as much proactivity as possible.
  
• Continue to work in education so that all children--regardless of the ways in which they are disadvantaged in our society--are able to internalize and apply proactivity in their own lives.
  

For next Monday, let's pick up right where we left off with the Begin with the End in Mind chapter. By the way, it's never too late to join us!

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