Toilet Training in Earnest?
Have you been reading Kylie's posts about starting toilet learning with Otis who is about a month younger than Henry?
Around these parts, we definitely starting putting Henry on a baby toilet at a young age (sporadically), but we were never really good about reading his cues and therefore never became Elimination Communication gurus. Now at fifteen months, he mainly wears training pants when we're home, but they still primarily work like diapers. We try to take him to the toilet at regular intervals, but he only uses the toilet about half the time. We've still been putting him in his cloth diapers for naps, traveling, and daycare.
I think it might be time to make more of a commitment to toilet learning. I've been lazy about it because he's going to start an AMI Montessori school in August, and they will work on toilet learning every day. I've been giving myself the excuse that I should just wait until we're doing it full-time at school and home.
But reading Kylie's posts inspire me to try harder with Henry. I'm going to purchase this portable toilet that fits in a diaper bag, so he can start wearing his training pants out of the house and we can easily give him opportunities to use the toilet on the go. I'm also going to buy this carseat protector. I realize I could easily make something to serve the same purpose and it would be friendlier on the budget and the environment, but I'm not up for it right now. I'm just being honest. If I can muster any craftiness and creativity right now, I want to direct it toward a gift for my friend who is about to give birth. Sometimes my values conflict with each other, and I have to make a choice.
Another reason I want to start toilet training Henry in earnest is that I would ideally like him to be done by the time he's 23 months and the new baby hopefully makes its grand entrance into our lives. I'm prepared for regression on Henry's part, so the sooner he learns to use the toilet and the longer he's in the habit before the new baby comes, the better. One of the books I'm reading right now talks about how toddlers go through so many changes as it is (toilet learning, transitioning to a new bed, etc.). I'd like to front load as many of the changes as possible. I guess that also means we should think about moving him to a twin-size mattress and free up our little crib mattress for the new baby's Montessori floor bed.
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I'm curious to see what others say, but if I were you, I'd wait (and would never have fathomed putting a 15-month-old in "training pants"--what is the point if he uses them as diapers?). My first son trained on his own volition at a little over 2.5 (and night trained a few months later), all of which were deemed "early" by every mother I know and everyone I spoke to at the pediatrician's office. I see you setting yourself (and Henry) up for a lot of stress as 23 months and the new baby loom ahead. Potty training/toilet learning is more of a developmental step than you're recognizing. As for a new mattress, that really doesn't seem like a big deal as Henry doesn't have a crib anyway.
Hi -
I am a first time mother of a four month old so I am no where near the potty training stage/age. However there have been a spat of articles recently about early potty training, constipation, and bed wetting. Regardless of what you decide to do, they are worth reading. I certainly had no idea that there could be a connection.
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2012/03/bed_wetting_the_simple_cause_your_doctor_probably_missed_.2.html & http://www.babble.com/toddler/toddler-health-safety/dangers-potty-training-early/
Interesting, right? Good luck whatever you decide to do!
I've heard all about early potty training - from both sides. By all means, try it. But if it doesn't go as planned or doesn't feel right than let it go. It's okay to have 2 kids in diapers. My friend's boy taught himself close to 2 yrs old. She had been sitting him on the potty at regular intervals - first thing in the morning, before going somewhere, before bed, etc. Then he just caught on and starting doing it himself. Very impressive. My twin girls are just starting at 2.5 yrs. They are at a point where they can get themselves to a potty, pull off and on their own pants, wipe themselves (#1 only), and empty the potty in the toilet. Which they are proud to do. I don't know the time frame for younger kids needed to pee but mine have to go every 30 minutes or they forget and have an accident. It consumes the day. Early potty training is all the rage now but I'm happy I waited, much less stress.
But whenever you decide, hope all goes well!
Book suggestion: Toilet Learning by Alison Mack. It is old (some terms and pictures in the kid section) but very clearly timeless in the concepts. The Toilet Trained Mother chapter is sad and humorous at the same time. Your son for sure wants to please you, but if he's not physically ready...it's a set-up for some big and confusing and stressful feeling on both sides. Just a realistic bit that when kids are spaced close together, there's going to be 2 (or more) in diapers at the same time. Probably a realistic factor to consider/accept even if spacing goes up to four years!
I like the way you acknowledge what does and doesn't work for you. No parent should have to apologize for choosing to do what's right for their family, but you especially should feel good about doing what you can in your first trimester! The carseat protector looks great, you know it will work, you don't have to find a pattern, find the materials, find the time . . . .
The portable toilet link doesn't work and I really want to see what you've picked! :)
My daughter is about a month younger than Henry, and I'm considering starting toilet-training too. She's at the age where she emulates everything her father and I do, which I think will make it even fun. I have friends who delayed starting until their children were older (about 3 years) and had a difficult time. Their two children both had problems with fear of the toilet and shame for not using it. My niece (20 months old) is completely toilet trained while at home; my sister in law has a toilet insert for their one bathroom (upstairs) and a portable toilet with a lid she keeps downstairs 'just in case'.
I potty trained my daughter early. She was completely potty trained by 2 years old. Do what works for your family. I think waiting too long is just as big of a problem as starting too early.
I think I've commented before that we didn't have success with toilet training our oldest son until he was nearly 3. We tried around 18 months but there was no interest and there was a lot of extra work and stress with the accidents. Every child is so different though. If you think Henry is ready, go for it!
Sorry about the busted link, Kelly! I keep doing that to you! I've fixed it. I will get better about checking them. So sorry!
I've been following kylie's blog for over a year now and love everything she posts. I love the idea of ecing with babies. My girls made it so obvious when they were going to poop so at a few months of age I would stick them on the toilet for easier clean up. I think the less a child gets used to eliminating in their pants, the faster they will associate toileting in an actual toilet.
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