How a High Chair Builds Independence

Getting Up

 

 

And Down

 

I know I talk a lot about cultivating independence in children (perhaps too much?). And it's funny. Before learning about Montessori, I wouldn't have been one to tout independence as a core value for which to strive (except maybe when I was majorly obsessed with the philosopher Ayn Rand when I was in high school). 

According to my understanding of Montessori philosophy, independence isn't the end goal; it's just the vehicle that drives the child's formation of self. 

In the earliest years of life, Henry is forming his understanding of the world, but he is also building the core of his personality. I want him to have a strong sense of self. I don't want that confidence to stem from being dependent on others for praise. I don't want him to feel good because I tell him he's a good person. I want him to have the experience of self-pride--pride that comes from independently interacting with the environment in order to accomplish his own outcomes. 

When Henry interacts with his environment on a daily basis and does things for himself, he is getting concrete experience that reinforces the following ideas: "I can make things happen for myself. I can trust myself. I can trust my experience in the world."

Trying to create and maintain an environment that helps promote independence and confidence is one of our main focuses (is that a word?) as parents. We've taught Henry how to use the key fab to lock and unlock the car. He knows how to feed the dog all by himself. He picks out his clothes in the morning. He helps make breakfast, etc.

We've also been teaching him to climb into his own high chair. The Tripp Trapp is often recommended for parents who are trying to cultivate independence because children can climb into it and out of it from a very young age. It's expensive, but it converts into a chair that can even be used by adults, so it will be around for a long time. Henry has been able to climb into it for a while now; we recently started teaching him how to get down (I won't lie; it makes me nervous!). When I read on Kylie's blog that she removed the harness for Otis (who is one month younger than Henry), I was inspired to do the same. 

Henry and I got out the tools and took everything apart so we could remove the straps. Now it's just a chair. A chair for a 17 month old. A chair that allows him to climb up and down to join the family at dinner time. 

I like Stephen Covey's explanation of independence. He said that independence was one level higher than dependence but a bridge to interdependence. I love that idea. Feeling good about himself will help Henry better interact with others. 

I'm crossing my fingers! This parenting thing is just a big scientific experiment with no control group and a sample size of one. We're just trying to figure it out as we go along--seeking inspiration and ideas from others--and making sure that we parent in a way that feels good to us and makes us feel proud. I'm thinking that's the best we can do.

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