Snapshots of Joy & Gratitude

When I used to teach 3rd grade, I read Cam Jansen with my students. Cam had a photographic memory, so she would go around taking snapshots in her mind. She would later use these snapshots to help solve mysteries. 

Lately, I've found myself doing the same thing (well, the mental snapshot thing, not the solving mysteries part). I find myself taking a mental photograph of a situation as a way to pause and soak up the joy. The intentional pause also gives me a moment to acknowledge the gratitude I feel. 

It happens in simple moments, like when Matt, Henry, Tate, and I are "making a tent" on the bed by going under the covers or like the time Tate grabbed at Henry's breakfast taco and Henry said, "I guess we need to make him some guacamole to eat." Or it happens when Henry, Tate, and I are driving in the car, listening to Henry's favorite song on repeat and rocking out with clapping, singing, and fist-pumping. 

I am overwhelmed by my luck sometimes. I feel like it's all too good to be true. I don't know how I managed to give birth to two healthy boys and marry a man who is pure light. 

I don't talk about the contentment I feel regarding my life in blog posts very often because it feels like bragging. It also doesn't feel useful to me as an exercise. I gravitate toward blogging when I need to puzzle through something, think out loud, hold myself accountable to accomplishing something. I try to make other space in my life for expressing gratitude and celebrating the joy of living. Every night as I fall asleep, I try to reflect on the things I am grateful for. That practice--instituted as part of my New Year's intention process--has helped me focus on gratitude more throughout the day, too. Hence these new "Snapshots of Joy & Gratitude" that are popping up in my life. 

This weekend one of my friends posted on Facebook a request for wedding venues in Colorado. I recommended Sunshine Mountain Lodge and included a link to the story of our wedding there. Rereading the story, I was reminded of how much insecurity I felt as Matt and I forged our own path. I was reminded of how much hustling it took. We had to have a vision of what we wanted and we had to make it happen for ourselves, despite the resistance we experienced. 

And I don't mean to harp on this fact, but only spending $2,000 on our wedding put us on the trajectory that has led us to where we are now. We closed on our house in Houston just days after our wedding, which cleaned out our entire bank account. If we had spent any more on our wedding, we wouldn't have been able to afford the downpayment. 

Three years later, we were able to sell the house for a significant profit (we saved 3% on realtor fees by selling it ourselves), which allowed me to stay home with Henry and pursue my passion to open Austin's first public Montessori school (which was a volunteer effort for the past two years). 

We committed to living frugally for a year, so that we could save up to build a family home together.

And all the fights (caused by the restrictions of living on a tight budget), the insecurity ("Will we be able to save enough money for the downpayment on our permanent loan?"), the judgment (people write mean things about me on the internet every day because of the choices I make for myself) and the hustling (working part-time while volunteering for my school part-time while taking care of Henry after school and being pregnant with Tate--all while facing obstacles head-on and persisting) were all worth it. Life was still enjoyable while all of that was happening, but now we get to watch it grow and blossom. 

We hosted Matt's birthday party this past weekend. He wanted to throw a 1980s movie party--pizza, soda, candy, popcorn, and Goonies on the big screen. Our friends crowded into our home and congregated around the island. I used to daydream about that kitchen island while we were building our house. It wasn't the object itself that excited me; it was the potential of the object to help cultivate what I want more of in life--connection and community. 

Several months ago, our friends told us about a giant movie screen that was deeply discounted on Woot.com. We decided to purchase it because we had visions of hosting movie parties (mainly outside). In preparation for Matt's birthday party, we decided to research the possibility of purchasing a projector. We were able to snag an awesome one off Amazon for $322. 

As all of our friends crowded onto our giant sectional couch with blankets and popcorn, I was once again overcome with gratitude that we have been able to create the kind of life we want for ourselves. It was so great to spend quality time reconnecting with old friends and connecting with new ones. One of our friends stayed the night, and we all enjoyed waffles together in the morning. 

I'm so tempted to delete this entire post because--again--it sounds like I'm just trying to brag about myself. I promise that is not my intention. My intention is to say, "We did it! And you can, too!" Whatever vision you have for your life, it is within you to make it happen for yourself. That's such an incredibly empowering place to start. It's not easy to visualize the path and then follow it, but it's completely possible. 

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