Book Club: Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Oh, how I love the idea of starting with the end in mind! This principle has truly revolutionized my life since I first read this chapter seven or so years ago. (As a side note, I only read the first three habits long ago, which all help one move toward independence. Maybe now I'll be ready for the last four habits and can move toward interdependence!).

For better and worse, I have integrated this idea deep into my very being. When I plan something, I habitually start with the end vision first, whether it's a birthday party, a wedding, an online course, or my life. Even if I plan a staff meeting, I think, "What do I want people to walk away thinking, feeling, or doing?" Further, Teach For America includes this idea as the first of their "Teaching As Leadership" pillars: Set big goals.

Although I didn't actually complete the exercise, I cried when I thought about my own funeral and what I would want people to say about me. It's such a powerful way to think about one's life. I agree with Covey that "it's incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the busy-ness of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success only to discover it's leaning against the wrong wall. It is possible to be busy--very busy--without being very effective."

The idea of "scripts" really resonated with me, too. I have had to work really hard to break free of the scripts handed to me by family and society. It's something I still struggle with, and it makes sense that they "rise out of our deep vulnerabilities, our deep dependency on others and our needs for acceptance and love, for belonging, for a sense of importance and worth, for a feeling that we matter."

I like the idea of writing a personal mission statement, so that our values and principles shape our actions instead of the scripts handed to us from places outside of ourselves. Of course our values and principles are shaped by the family from which we come and the society in which we live, but we have agency to choose which values and principles we want to align our lives with.

So now I need to revisit the mission statement I wrote a few years ago. It's something like: "I live to develop in myself and inspire in others environmental consciousness, honest and nurturing interpersonal interactions, and an active commitment to make the world more just for all." I'll save that for another post. In the meantime, here's the family mission statement that Matt and I came up with.

Share |