Juggling and Balancing

I'm happy to pregnant for so many reasons. First and foremost, I am thrilled to expand our family and to welcome a new little personality into our home. It is such an honor to help Henry uncover and live into his unique being every day. As an aside, can I tell you the sweetest thing that happened with Henry (19 months) yesterday? We were at the park for our daily hour after school and snack. I was sitting on the ground letting him do his own thing. He was climbing up steps and sliding down the slide, picking up rocks, etc. Then he noticed a piece of trash on the ground. He walked over, picked it up, carried it all the way to the trash can, looked over the top of the can for a second or two, threw the trash in, and then resumed playing. 

That kid melts my heart. 

The other reason I am ecstatic to be pregnant right now is that there's still time to honor pregnancy and spend some time at home with the baby before my full-time job (i.e., running a school) kicks into gear. When we thought we only wanted one child, Matt and I timed it so I could be home with Henry for three years before my school opened. Once we changed our minds, we had to hurry to fit a second one into the pretty narrow window. Once the school is up and running, I really don't want to stop and take a maternity leave, especially in the early years of the school's development. 

It's not entirely clear how the state will run the charter school timeline next year. Last year, applicants interviewed in August and found out in September. Then they opened their schools the following August. This year, they aren't interviewing until November. I'm honestly not yet sure what will happen in my cycle. At the earliest, I would need to be doing part-time work around September. At the latest, it would be December (the baby is due at the end of June). It's going to be tricky to make sure I feel like I can sufficiently satisfy an infant's needs and be an effective leader. I'm not comfortable compromising on either of those fronts. Both of them are urgent priorities to me. 

If I'm able to get "Apple" on a schedule the way I was able to do for Henry, then I might have consistent stretches throughout the day when the baby is napping and I can work. I definitely won't count on anything like that, since I know that babies can be radically different. I'm brainstorming ideas about working at home to be with the baby but also hiring some help so that I could continue to get my work done as needed. 

It's a lot to juggle and balance, but I feel so fortunate to be in this place in history. Matt and I get to decide what kind of balance we want between our professional selves and our personal selves. I'm not automatically relegated to the home just because I'm a woman. I also don't feel pressure to "have it all" in order to prove myself in the workplace. I feel like I get to be in this very mindful place, deciding how to balance my needs with the needs of my family. 

It's definitely going to be a work in progress. Our plans will shift depending on what happens with the state and what kind of baby our new one is. 

The next reason why I'm happy to be pregnant right now is quite embarrassing, so I think I'll stop here for today and delve into it tomorrow...

Happy Tuesday,

s.

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